Wednesday, December 30, 2015

On the same separate path...

Maybe we live oddly parallel lives...

Over 6.5 years ago, just when I was starting my first proper relationship with the alpha boy, he had also started dating his first girlfriend. At that time we were still in some kind of very very brief contact via IM and he had volunteered his girlfriend's name.

As years passed, we stopped contacting altogether though remained Facebook friends. Not that I stalked and not that he posted much, but I got the sense that at some point things ended with that first girlfriend. I never knew if he was seeing someone else new... until now.

Recently I saw a post that he was tagged in that confirmed it all. It was for a marriage preparation course.

She's almost as tall and as largely built as him (which would be pretty tall and large for a girl), fairly plain but looks like a nice girl. I'm sure she must be a really nice girl. And more than that, she's a very lucky girl. Because someone is a truly great guy.

We may not have been in contact for a long time and even when we were, we may not have been close at all. And the boat may have sailed even before it ever docked. But I think there will always be a special place in my heart for him. A different kind of special place. Where it comes from a first "love", an unrequited "love". Where it comes from the way he's always inspired me to be a better person without ever realising that he has. Where it comes from his big natural heart-warming smile, zest for life in all its fun and seriousness.

But while I used to see how we could actually be good together, I've since realised that I wouldn't be good for him. I was too messed up for his togetherness. And we just figured life out on our own. Separately.

And 6.5 years later, we are both taking the next big step in our lives. Marriage. To different people.



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