Even when it came to first deciding on the sub-header of this blog (currently called the 'search' for 'the one'), I had always known that I didn't really believe in "the one". I had just used it, with quotation marks and all, because it was a convenient way of explaining my purpose of dating. I've mentioned before about how I don't believe in "the one" but in "the few" and how the alpha boy is one of the "few" for me.
So here's what I now think...
The alpha boy is still one of the "few" for me. Like I said, I truly believe that there are a few people in the world who, based on personality and character traits, would be suitable for one person. I've certainly met a (small) number of people who I believe would have been quite suitable for me. Some of them were already attached, some were geographically apart, others didn't fancy me back or maybe the timing just wasn't right and I also think that there must have been others who I just never even got the chance to cross paths with.
But what makes one of "the few" to be "the one"?
I think "the one" is really "the one who I eventually choose". Because we all have a choice. Sometimes our choices are right and sometimes they are wrong. But we have a choice and we usually make it even if the choice isn't to make one. But for those who do choose, you choose that person to be the one you will be with. You choose that person to be the one who you will accept. You choose that person to be the one who you will love.
But does that mean "the one" is perfect?
Of course not. Afterall no one is perfect. And frankly we are always going to be able to be completely annoyed by or find fault with someone else. But you make the choice and so you work at it... unless (or until) you eventually decide that you don't want to work at it or can't anymore. But that's something else entirely.
The alpha boy and I aren't perfect. We aren't even perfect together. But we do have certain life views that align. And despite having had some tough times where we almost thought we wouldn't make it, ultimately we realized that we do care enough to choose to work through our differences. Those differences aren't all resolved, they may never truly be. But we also chose to take the risk to give it a shot anyway. We are still 2 very different people. But also 2 different people who made the same choice, us.