Monday, September 27, 2010

i feel like i'm watching an episode of the bachelor

sometimes with time, things get clearer. guys who at that time you thought you were totally into could ultimately spark the reaction within yourself wondering how on earth did you ever get so smitten?? with other guys, as time passed, you've completely forgotten all bout them.

so there's this guy that i knew in the beginning of the year. i've acknowledged that if i were single, i would date him. we still continue to talk, and by that i really just mean email or IM. somehow it's still undeniable that we do kinda get along but it is also increasingly becoming more apparent that if armed with the knowledge that i have now, i may not have been that keen to date him even if i were single.

he's still serial dating up a storm. and i don't judge people who invite (relatively) new dates back to their place or to go away on a trip with them. he doesn't even strike me as too sleazy though that's generally not my thing and chances are i don't trust those who do this on a regular basis.

so he's starting to have some of those girls on his rotation try to initiate a dtr (define the relationship) which he's not really having any of. i think what gets me is that i feel like he's one of those guys who (unknowingly? purposely?) leads girls on and 'coz he's as attractive and articulate as he is, those girls get smitten way easily.

maybe that's just a sore point with me but i don't think that's right. i found myself rooting for the girls who decided he wasn't worth all of this and have cut him off. girls who he said himself were "definitely maybes". who wants to be a definitely maybe, especially when you obviously liked him enough and was being led on a wild goose chase enough to actually initiate the dtr. i've pretty much told him what i think though i also do think that there's nothing wrong with serial dating, it's just that you have to take into consideration the signs you're putting across.

with all this, i realised that if i were still single, yes i would have still wanted to date him. but it probably would have come to the same ending as everyone else that i dated before. and for this, i'm glad to be with the alpha boy. there was very little drama involved in that when we got together.



At 11:48 PM, Anonymous Amanda said...

I have to say, I really don't like serial dating. I don't understand how people can do it! Personally, my feelings get involved wayyy too easily when dating someone. I'd be crushed to learn the guy I was really into was seeing other girls behind my back. If this guy is upfront and honest with them, that's one thing. They can decide from there if they really want to pursue something. But, if he's not, then that's another story. Maybe I'm just a little bitter and jaded right now, haha. But, seriously, what's the point of leading people on? I really don't get it.

At 3:43 PM, Blogger jo said...

amanda: maybe it seems hypocritical 'coz i have "serial dated" and i never actually expressly told anyone that they weren't the only one i was seeing. but i also didn't make it seem like i was more interested than i was and i kinda think that inviting someone home really early on sends that message (or the message that you just only want to get laid).
but yeah, i realised that ultimately i didn't like serial dating all that much. it was too tiring. and i can't help but get emotionally involved as well and it's hard to always have to keep that in check just in case the guy and i weren't on the same interest level.

At 7:00 AM, Blogger treedome said...

for me serial dating is tricky and it gets me confused haha


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