at the expense of looking like the jealous evil witch
i've mentioned a number of times before that the alpha boy has an ex girlfriend who he is very close to. in a nutshell, he and the "other woman" were together for a few months bout 8 years ago but a few years after that, has since maintained a close friendship.
we've all hung out together a couple of times and i do like her and while she has since stopped calling him to chat or asking him to meet up as much as before (and trust me, previously it used to be phone conversations every other day for hours at a go), she still does so with a frequency that i've never been comfy with.
the alpha boy knows this. he doesn't initiate it but mostly goes along and indulges her in a number of phone conversations. i'm not thrilled but i mostly tolerate it. i know that neither is interested in the other and that would never happen again. it's just that they are really good friends and it's also just the way she is, super friendly in a gushy kind of way.
last night another the "other woman" situation came up. apparently a few years ago, she had some operation and he went with her to see the cardiologist. now she feels like maybe there's a relapse of her previous problem and has asked him (i don't know exactly when she asked him but i only heard it last night) to accompany her again today in the middle of the afternoon. his work can be sometimes somewhat flexible but essentially this could mean that he would be taking some time out just to go with her at 3pm.
of 'coz i realise that this is a somewhat potentially serious health issue and i don't want anything bad to happen to her. and yes, it's nice that the alpha boy would be there for his friend like that. but on the other hand, i can't help it, but i feel really weird bout this. i don't know why she doesn't have any family or other friends (preferably female but i hear that she doesn't really have close girl friends, i wonder why...) to go with her.
i did sorta make some comments which would have clued the alpha boy in that i wasn't really pleased bout this. but at the same time i know this visit to the doctor is kind of a big deal for her.
i like to think that i'm not completely irrational but yes, i can't help it that i feel weird bout this and it's bothering me. even if i were to say something to him bout it, i don't even know what exactly to say so that i don't just seem crazy, jealous and mean spirited. sigh.
posted by jo @ 12:16 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Mmmm. I perfectly understand why you would be feeling this way. We all get it. But it also sounds like they have been really good friends for a long time. It sounds like she is aware of it making you uncomfortable and has adjusted some. But if you look at her side, this is her best friend, yes? What if you just thought of her as a guy, would that help?
I say this because one of my best friends is a guy, and he's married. I am fully aware that his family comes first. I certainly don't call him to chat, but I don't have to because we work together. But if I had a medical problem, as my best friend, I know he would do the same thing as your boyfriend.
So I'm just saying unless you have a reason to believe something is going on (which sounds like you don't), then just treat her like his best guy friend. She's probably just as jealous as you getting all of his time now!
I started writing that I thought it was perfectly okay to share how you're feeling but now that I think about it, I think you may have to let the jealousy bit about her go... She's a part of his life, and unless that's a deal breaker I think you have to find a way to come to terms with it. Although maybe venting on the blog is helping you come to terms? :)
You feeling strange about him going to meet up with her at the hosptital is completely normal. But you have to think. If you're completely sure that she and him are null and void in the romantic relationship department then you should let him go. At the end of the day, dont let your insecurities get in the way. I'm sure alpha is trustworthy enough.
Im a friend of my ex too
but I dont get that near to him ..because I know....he already have a girlfriend.....
your situation is complicated
it'll definitely
stretch your patience and trust to him
thanks everyone for your comments :)
well i came to the conclusion that i had to at least discuss with him how i felt bout this situation. i owed it to him and myself to be honest. i told him that i trusted him (which i do) but made it clear that i was uncomfortable with the frequency at which she calls. i suppose in some ways it's been "sorted out" as he reassured me that he's already been ignoring most of her calls in any case 'coz he didn't feel like talking to her anyway. she really does call so often and is so needy that most of her friends (including any female friends she used to have) have stopped picking up her calls. i mean i don't mind her per se, just that it's gotta be in smaller doses.
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