Sunday, April 10, 2011

what happens if i say right now i don't?

other than that time (years ago) where my parents actually volunteered to pay for me sign up with a religious matchmaking agency, they haven't actually been all up in my grill bout the whole marriage thing. sometimes i think maybe they (and the rest of my extended family) just forget how old i actually am.

they must have suddenly remembered it now 'coz lately that's all they've been talking bout.

i'm being reminded bout how i've been seeing the same guy for 2 years, how i'm 31 this year and that frankly, girls are at the losing end of the "age battle".

i know all of this. but somehow i'm just not ready for happily ever after. strangely scarily enough, it's almost as though i've convinced my mind to think that i am actually 25 (just 'coz i happen to look 25).

sometimes i wonder if it's me. i mean the alpha boy is 3 years younger and has been aluding heavily and even downright expressly articulating bout us getting married. and yet while it's nice to know that someone wants to marry me, it freaks me out like none other 'coz i really don't think i'm ready.

the parentals know this. after all the pressure from them bout how i should think bout getting married, i felt it was only right that i let 'em know that right now, that's not in the cards for me. i just feel like there's too many other things i need to settle in my life first before embarking on such a life changing decision. my mom mentioned bout how you can do both. and i suppose that's also true...

i guess i'm just left wondering if it's me... am i just not ready and balk at the thought of marriage... to anyone. or is it the alpha boy? is he not the one i want to marry?



At 2:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe you're like...waiting for something? There's always a turning point for everyone. Perhaps you need to find that closure type thing so that you can stop hesitating.

At 4:01 AM, Blogger Soph said...

I have been single for years and one thing I have learnt is do whatever you want to do, dont try and please anyone else or worry about what other people may think of you!

If you are not ready or it doesnt feel right than that is your choice, because when it is right then you will know!

Life is far too short for regrets and trying to please everyone else

Soph x

At 1:54 AM, Blogger Miz Aventures said...

That was me too...8 years with the same guy, and we got together so young that I didn't have time to sew my oats (I'm making up for it now). Currently, the idea of getting married and having an actual wedding makes me want to vomit. I want nothing to do with a big white dress, or pick one friend over the others to me my maid of honor, so deal with a venue, food and cake. Ugh.

At 5:27 AM, Blogger treedome said...

I think you should wait for the time when you really feel that you want to make that step regardless of people hinting and telling you directly that it's time for you to make that step just because you're not 20 anymore and because you've been with alpha boy for some time now. I have a friend that's been with her bf for like 6 years and I don't see them in any hurry. When relatives ask me when I'm getting married, I just get embarrased, but now, next time I'll answer (because it just occured to me some days ago), "I will get married when it's convenient for me to do it" and it's true, if right now it's not convenient for you and you don't really feel like it, they'll have to deal with it.

Whoa, long comment ^^

At 11:36 PM, Blogger Dater at Large said...

It's definitely you :-)

Because it's your life and your decision!

I like to think I'll stop my running when I'm ready, but if you're involved with someone who IS ready, it's probably worthwhile to do some hard thinking about what you want. And why you want - or don't want - it.

Not for him or your parents... for you.


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