the draft series: nov 2006

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original date:17 nov 2006
title: untitled

lately due to some radio ad i keep hearing, i've been thinking bout first kisses.

the thing is, i don't really remember my first kiss. i don't believe i ever tried to kiss any boys when i was a kid. or if i did, i certainly don't remember. i'm a really late bloomer so as far as i can recall, i believe my so-called my first kiss was with a total stranger in the club. a cuban (i think) guy who's full name i never got (and the part of his name i did get, i'm not sure if it's his first or last name). all i know is that he works on a ship and has wicked dance moves.

maybe that might have set the tone for the future of club kissing. in fact my so-called second kiss was in that same night. it was the cuban guy's spanish fellow ship worker friend. actually i'm not even sure which spanish guy it was 'coz there were 2 and i later kept in touch for a while with one of 'em. i think it was that guy but i probably won't ever really be certain.

but see, this is what i think... i think i've never been kissed. i mean sure i've been kissed and some even by guys i was seeing, but i've never really been kissed.

it's kinda like what drew barrymore's character says in the movie never been kissed:

"that thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realise that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will go away all at the same time."

even though i've never been a real geek, i sometimes feel like drew barrymore's character. a working adult in her mid 20s who somehow missed out on some of those 'life experiences' as a teenager.

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reading back on this now, i think i did try and kiss some boys when i was a kid. i can't imagine why i didn't remember this since i remember my parents laughing and telling me bout this. i was apparently a rather forward little girl to one particular boy who i think has since grown up to be a none too attractive fella haha!

but that said, i don't know if i can say that i've ever felt that way in a kiss like how drew barrymore's character put it. sure, my first kiss with the alpha boy was pretty special especially since it was the first time i ever kissed anyone for the first time who was a boyfriend. and before that, i hadn't kissed anyone in bout 3 months which was quite a long lull period for kiss-slut me back then. but honestly, over 2 years later now still with the alpha boy, i can't say that there are fireworks everytime we kiss.

maybe all that fairytale romance and kisses are all fiction?