closing the chapter of guys

i admit it... i did spend some time thinking bout what to wear this morning. afterall i was supposedly supposed to meet up with my family friend's setup. even if it was just a meet up and not a date.

but even up till 5.15pm, i didn't hear a thing from him. i told myself to hold back and refrain from contacting him. afterall wasn't this planned 2 weeks ago? and i thought it was confirmed a week ago when he texted me that he couldn't make it and suggested next week.

in the end 'coz i just had to know my plans, i relented...

jo: so hey are we still supposed to be on for today?
family friend's setup: oh you didn't remind me! you were supposed to.. i'm not feelin too well.. can feel the flu bug gettin to me. think i'll have an early night.. sorry!

it's not bout him bailing out 'coz he was feeling under the weather. but it was obvious that he didn't remember our meeting up at all. and if he didn't remember, i'm chalking it up to the fact that i'm obviously not important enough.

jo: i thought last week was the reminder haha! oh well you get well soon!

anyhow it's back to my decision that if he wants to find me, he'll know how to find me. i'm done with this. trying and hoping is useless.

but i was still very much in the mood to head out. i contacted a few friends but no one was available or simply uncontactable. i did mention before bout what "wonderful" friends i have right?

however i've learnt that if i'm in the mood, i'll go out alone even if i have to. and so i made my way to cozy hole-in-the-wall bar. it was very quiet as it usually is. for the most part it was just me and the bartender. incidentally she's sorta known to be bisexual (though mostly straight). in fact we've shared an inebriated kiss before. i've known her for a while but never really got a chance to chat so it was nice to finally get that chance. (hmm maybe it's a sign that i really should go for girls instead?)

but i guess i was feeling like looking for some trouble and strangely decided to text not-so-shy texan.

jo: hey howz it going?
not-so-shy texan: hey! i been thinking about you lately :) i am free thur night around 8 and suppose to fly off fri. start new job late next week. you free?
jo: tomorrow ain't good for me... i'm chilling at *insert name of cozy hole-in-the-wall bar* now tho haha!
not-so-shy texan: darn :) ok i can be talked into big drink night tonight at *insert name of club where we first met and where he hangs out on wednesday nights* then if you keen. else then next week when i back
jo: haha! i can't do big drink... only lil drink haha! where you at now tho?
not-so-shy texan: always like that. ok i text you again next week then. have fun.
jo: i can't big drink 'coz tomorrow i still gotta work... bleah haha! but if you want we still can have some drinks...
not-so-shy texan: no busy now at home until later then if i go out i just go *insert name of club where we first met and where he hangs out on wednesday nights* i not sure yet.
jo: alritey... well you have a good trip and a good new start to your job

personally i think he's just being difficult. in fact i can't imagine why i even bother (okay i can... it was boredom kicking in full swing) 'coz he's always been difficult. so well that's another chapter of guys in my life that i'm closing... and in his case, for like the 5th time.

in the end i didn't stay long at cozy hole-in-the-wall bar. just long enough to nurse a whisky dry and then i went on my way home.

oh yes what fun times.