so why bother?

my good friend predictably flaked on me again last night. really, why should i even be surprised? i mean we were supposed to catch up proper after her wedding (and honeymoon) but she's flaked on me so many times before that i think i must be the fool to even think that she wouldn't flake. anyhow once again i'm done there. i tried to be a friend but since she's not much of one, she's gonna have to decide when to meet me next (and possibly flake on me again).

anyhow that kinda left my wednesday night free. and my family friend's setup did initially ask to meet up so i decided to drop him a text to ask if he was still free. to cut a longer story short, turns out he wasn't. so we decided to meet next wednesday instead as planned.

and then i decided to meet up with my not-so-platonic ex-friend instead. okay so that part is a bit complicated. 'coz technically my not-so-platonic ex-friend did text me to ask what i was up to before i asked my family friend's setup if he was free to meet up. but i mean that conversation i had with my family friend's setup where he asked if i could meet was before my not-so-platonic ex-friend even suggested anything. i like to say that i have a "first come first serve" basis, though in this case even though it was that, it was probably 'coz i would have much rather gone out with my family friend's setup.

but even though i wasn't really feeling it, boredom drove me to meet up with my not-so-platonic ex-friend. we met up for beers and dinner with his colleagues. at some points the conversation got boring when they were talking shop. and then my family friend's setup turned up. kinda made me wonder if that was why he told me he wasn't free in the first place.

my not-so-platonic ex-friend's colleagues left and the three of us wound up at another bar for chivas. a female friend of my not-so-platonic ex-friend joined us there. a young, cute female friend. 'coz that's really anyone that he hangs out with. he did put some moves on me by constantly telling me privately that the way i smell drives him wild. yeah well he's still wrong and i think i'm not going down that path again... even if i haven't made out with a guy in too long.

so we just played card games and drank. i was definitely keeping the alcohol in check since i haven't exactly been feeling in the pink of health lately and wasn't really in the mood to get crazy drunk. for the most part i think i was just bored.

boredom drove me to head out... but boredom also drove me to head home.

at 12.15am i decided to call it a night. normally my family friend's setup sends me (and my not-so-platonic ex-friend) home since we live on the same side of town. but he was waiting for my not-so-platonic ex-friend to call the shots and he (my not-so-platonic ex-friend) didn't wanna head home yet. so i decided to find my own way back home alone.

the journey back allowed me some time to think. i laughed at myself for ever once thinking that my not-so-platonic ex-friend meant anything to me. or me to him for that matter. he's very wrong. that's always been a given. but even if the situation weren't wrong, he's still a very wrong guy in general.

as for my family friend's setup, there are still times when i remember why i ever thought that he had real potential. so maybe i don't see that much especially when he's with my not-so-platonic ex-friend who by the way is a terrible influence. but that said, i know that i just have to be unbothered with him. if he wants to, he knows how to find me. but it doesn't seem like he really wants to.

at 1.30am i received a text...

family friend's setup: hey i apologize if i said anything offensive tonight... a bit on the high side

only that he didn't say anything offensive (then again i'm not easily offended). he wasn't on the high side when i left him but he certainly was by the time he sent this text haha! gotta love the tipsy text.

i replied 'coz i'm nice like that and 'coz well... a part of me still does like him (dammit!!)

jo: offensive? nah not at all... i was just really tired and needed to call it a night. anyhow hope you guys had fun...

but honestly all this is just reminding me how i really just shouldn't bother. it makes me wanna date like a man. multidate. makeout without regrets. only that i don't have any candidates...