Tuesday, April 15, 2008

possibility... of escaping feelings...

i'm pretty close to my family, to the point where i'm the type to tell my mom bout guy stuff. and she in turn will tell my dad. of 'coz what she only knows bout is if i actually go out with the guy. she doesn't know bout the random guys. mommy dearest certainly doesn't ever need to know bout her darling daughter's tipsy random escapades.

so over the weekend i went for a roadtrip with the family. and that just meant an extended time of having to talk. where it seemed like the topic of the day was the rich kid.

see, my dad is very excited bout him. i have no idea why. i thought moms are usually the ones. but no, my single status has gotten so desperate such that my dad is excited that i finally went out with a guy. nevermind that it wasn't really a date. but i think my dad is planning a future for me and the rich kid.

my mom just asked me if i preferred the rich kid or my family friend's setup ('coz apparently that's the last guy i "went out with" that i was interested in. of 'coz that's 'coz they don't know bout dj guy and how strongly i feel bout him or bout how half the time i wanna jump the mind-reader...), if i had gotten over someone and constantly asked if the rich kid contacted me and if i was going to contact him... of which the answer to that is no and probably yes.

so suffice to say, my mind was on the rich kid a lot. it's weird 'coz i'm not sure why but sometimes i would find my mind drifting to him.

and then it hit me... just like the way only these kinda revelations can hit you... i don't know how i managed it, but i do believe that i've somehow wound up liking the rich kid.

it's terrible 'coz i've only met up with him alone once and met up with him in a group twice (including the first time we met) and chatted with him online a few times... but yet, i find myself actually liking him...

granted it's not in this i'm-head-over-heels-in-like-with-him kinda way, it's a lil more subtle than that... but it's there. it's there enough for my interest to be piqued, for me to actually miss talking to him, for me to actually wanna meet up with him. i'm not sure if there's the big "show" of definitely opening of my heart. but i can't deny that there's certainly that feeling of possibility.

and i value any feeling of possibility i can get... even though the part inside me that fears that he doesn't feel the same, just wants to find someone new so that i won't like him as much...

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7 Comments:

At 12:27 AM, Blogger Ginormous Boobs said...

Isn't this all so scary?

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger jo said...

oh for sure! if i was sure that he liked me then i wouldn't be half as scared...

 
At 1:31 AM, Blogger A Dating Diary said...

so what's the plan of attack?

 
At 2:17 AM, Blogger jo said...

does running for the hills count as a plan of attack? haha!

 
At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Ecrivain said...

I know what you mean where your dad's concerned -- when your dad gets a little too hopeful about what he thinks is a prospect, it sucks, 'cause it's like, dating and finding the right one is hard enough, without having to factor in your parents' disappointment when something doesn't pan out.

 
At 1:55 AM, Blogger The Ambiguous Blob said...

you say that if you were sure he liked you, it would be easier... but would it?
because then, you'd have to figure out if you really like him or just like the idea of him.
and then, ugh- too much pressure.
go make out with a random hottie. it's simple, if not fulfilling.

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger jo said...

it's a good point you brought up... bout if i really like him or just like the idea of him. but i know that if he liked me, i would definitely be up to finding out.

making out with a random hottie sounds good too... but where do i find this hottie? and could he not be that random? could he be like my makeout buddy? i miss mine... nevermind that i wound up really liking him...

 

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