"beauty kings"

i'm not particularly keeping in contact with the rich kid anymore but since we're friends on the online social utility site and it is such a great stalking device, i inevitably learnt that he recently took part in this "men we love" contest held by a local magazine. there were even pictures of him sans shirt being posted online. excellent. i didn't even have to go down and see him playing tennis to see him shirtless.

so of 'coz i heckled him a lil on IM and he sent me a link to an article...

and get this. the rich kid with the "shy smile" won!

all this kinda made me wonder what was up with such contests and men i know?

afterall the ad-man was featured in a local female fashion magazine as one of the 50 most gorgeous people. though i'm not sure if he won any prizes.

it's almost like these guys are just trying to make me feel damn unpretty haha!

friday

after 2 fridays in a row of not heading out, i decided i had to try and get my usual party on. so i made plans with my new party BFF to party at the place that i've been currently making an appearance at.

i decided to text the rich kid to find out if he was there since he had asked me to party on wednesday (probably 'coz i was nice and remembered his birthday on monday) when i was too tired and i had told him that i might heading out on friday instead. i saw him there and we were pretty friendly.

the thing bout partying at that place is that even though i don't really feel the music and it probably wouldn't be the place for me if i really wanted to get down to dancing it out, i do kinda have fun 'coz of the friends i have gotten to know.

****

in other news, key account executive once again extended his dark proposal with a specific day in mind... friday night. admittedly there is a certain level of mutual attraction between us, but it's just too wrong for me and the right thing to do is to stay away...

****

just when i thought shrek boy forgot bout me, he contacted me on friday night...

shrek boy: hey there. hope you had a great week. sorry i have not called... am very sick after long week in *insert name of country where's he's based from monday to thurday*. have fun tonight.

not that i want him to be sick, but in a way i guess it's good that we didn't get to meet up this week. at least i don't get to feel "guilty" for "dating" someone else when i really like the ad-man.

as for the ad-man, our IM conversations are still going really strong. we even have our own private "sayings". i definitely really like this guy. and i know it 'coz i realised that i'm willing to give up my partying and sometimes random making out lifestyle for him. in fact even though i was having fun clubbing with new party BFF on friday night, i wasn't really interested in meeting anyone and my mind kept drifting back to the ad-man.

i'm a relatively private person but i find myself opening up to him more and more and actually wanting to open up to him. it's kinda scary when you realise that your heart is opening up to let someone inside... but i'm just trying to see where all this may or may not go...

it's a small world afterall

since that time that i exchanged IM addresses with nice shirt guy, we weren't ever actually online at the same time.

until today.

we were chatting when suddenly nice shirt guy brought something up randomly...

nice shirt guy: i just found out that an old friend of mine is a bar manager at *insert name of club that dj guy now works in*
jo: uh oh
jo: which friend?
nice shirt guy: indian dude
jo: name?
nice shirt guy: *insert dj guy's name*
jo: ohmygosh

i must admit that it freaked me out a lil. my party life is a bit of a "dirty secret" which only a few (the party scene people) really know bout. and it's even funnier when you think bout how i met nice shirt guy in the first place... as in he was interested to get to know me. and now i realised that his old friend (who could probably be considered my "old friend" too) at one point did get to know me pretty well...

it was even more shocking when i found out that dj guy also knows the rich kid and some of the other guys who i got to know through the rich kid and nice shirt guy 'coz they all used to live in the same estate neighbourhood and hung out when they were kids.

this world is just too small.

new friends

lately it seems like friday nights haven't been quite the usual. sure i've still been partying... but while it's usually with my party girl and the yummy mommy, lately i've been all bout another location (a location where previously i would never go to) with new friends.

yesterday was supposed to be another birthday celebration for my party girl. we had the first celebration on wednesday night which was pretty fun. but then nothing went right yesterday as my party girl got held up at work till nearly midnight and essentially cancelled her birthday celebration. afterall none of the other people seemed to be able to make it either.

my new BFF had previously asked me to party with her and since my original plans fell through, i decided to join her. and since i did know her through the rich kid and we were going back to the same place, i decided to text the rich kid to let him know that i'd be there.

it's amazing how it suddenly seems like so many people i "know" are there. this would be all thanks to my ex-department-colleague and the rich kid, both of whom strangely didn't really seem all that friendly when i saw 'em (with their separate friends).

i guess i did find it a bit strange... i mean normally i get along with 'em just fine. then again for the rich kid, i'm beginning to think he's a lil odd. we used to be able to just talk, but suddenly it seems like we just can't. maybe it's another one of those cases where a guy deems you "not his type" and then just doesn't bother attempting to make conversation anymore. afterall i did see him holding another girl's bag and according to my new BFF, holding her hand as well. not that i'm bothered. if she's his type, then i probably won't be. afterall she was one of 'em stereotypical sweet looking girls with long hair and fair skin. or maybe i'm not bothered 'coz in part i've lost interest in him 'coz i'm more interested in the ad-man (who incidentally i've been chatting on IM for hours every day...

but it doesn't mean that i'm not attracted to other guys. 'coz i met this asian aussie medic who i'm totally attracted to. it was kinda funny how we started talking...

he walked past me at the bar and we started trading these looks like we each saw the other somewhere before. i honestly thought he was a friend of a friend that i was introduced to the week before. so i decided to say hey. but it turned out that he wasn't that guy. he initially thought that i was a nurse that he randomly saw at work recently... only that i'm taller so i couldn't have been her. in the end he told me that he remembered seeing me a few saturdays ago. that was it! he was a guy i was admittedly checking out and who i thought was also checking me out. i suppose in a sea of tons of hot girls, it's flattering that he remembered seeing me.

he's a total cutie. and i just love aussie accents. we chatted briefly. mostly just joking around. conversation wise, i'm not sure if we really hit it off. but it was still all good. after a while my friends wanted to head back to the bar next door so i told him where we were headed and extended the invitation to him to pop by. well i don't think he did. anyhow after a while in the bar, we headed to the club next door. well if i see him again (and i just might if i continue to party at this location), hopefully we could exchange contacts.

and i finally exchanged contacts with nice shirt guy who i saw hanging out with the rich kid. i'm still not interested in him but i also can't deny that from what i know, i do think that he's really nice. and i think at this point nice-ness impresses me. besides i'm very open to being friends with nice shirt guy. it's always good to make more friends. as long as i just ignore all the hoots the rich kid and some of his other friends give whenever nice shirt guy and i start talking.

the saturday after the pity party

the setting:

i had just come outta the shower to find that i had a missed call from the rich kid's number.

the thoughts:

ohmygosh maybe he's wondering if i got home safely... ohmygosh maybe he's stepping up?

the conversation:

"hey", i said as i returned the call.

"hi!!", came a friendly voice. a voice that was not the rich kid's. "it's *insert name of the rich kid's tennis partner for the day*"

"oh hi!", i admit that i was a lil surprised to have him calling me... and perhaps more than a lil disappointed that it wasn't the rich kid.

"just wanted to tell you that we are playing tennis now and *insert the rich kid's name* is taking off his shirt", he said. "so feel free to come down and take a look"

i had to laugh at that.

"from your hand actions last night, it seemed like you wanted to touch his tits right?", he added jokingly.

cue to more laughing on my part.

"no no... i suggested last night that the both of you take off your shirts so i could judge who had a better body. but since neither of you wanted to, i said that i could also tell by feeling." i tried to clarify.

the verdict:

the rich kid's tennis partner for the day was hilarious. and no, the rich kid is not stepping up. and yes, i'm a lil disappointed.

****

i decided that i shouldn't have to play by the 3-day rule that you hear boys play. i was thinking of contacting my new BFF and i decided to just go right ahead and text her.

well we exchanged IM addresses and i hope to chat with her soon. she seems cool and it's always good to have more friends.

****

i had an IM chat with my ex-department-colleague...

ex-department-colleague: what did you do last night
jo: *insert name of club i was at* haha!
ex-department-colleague: with your friends
jo: i went with that guy and his friends
ex-department-colleague: ahh
ex-department-colleague: he asked you or you asked him
jo: he asked me to join his friends so i was like okay
jo: he saw me online at home haha!
ex-department-colleague: i took a second close up look at him last week
ex-department-colleague: think he's not really that cute
jo: oh you saw him last week? haha!
jo: he's not like damn hot but i find him quite cute still
ex-department-colleague: woah woah
ex-department-colleague: singing praises
ex-department-colleague: like him huh
ex-department-colleague: i saw him at *insert name of bar where the rich kid and i first met* last friday
jo: haha! he's always there man
jo: like him? but we're just friends haha!
ex-department-colleague: definitely popular among girls
ex-department-colleague: 'coz one of my friends commented that he has many girls to hug
jo: hahaha!
jo: i'm not surprised!
ex-department-colleague: did he hug you when he was drunk and talking to you
jo: so far he doesn't drink enough to get drunk
jo: actually i'm okay with hugging... i'm quite the huggy sort too haha!

so yes, i don't think hugging is all that big a deal. afterall i'm all bout hugs and cheek kisses even from some guy friends. but that said maybe i should wonder why he isn't hugging me? is that a good or bad sign? gosh i'm probably just overthinking this.

and while i'm at it, i can't quite decide if he's a player or not. although he does seem to know a whole lot of female friends, i don't quite feel the player vibe. for the most part, he just seems laidback. maybe even in that laidback way of a guy who knows that he's cute enough to get the girls flocking to him. or maybe he's just a player who's really good at the game...

pity party

friday night started off as a really boring time at home. my party girl had to work late and couldn't decide if she wanted to head out. and the yummy mommy who was supposed to meet up with me, bailed out at the last minute. i was so bored and restless that i just bout considered heading down to cozy hole-in-the-wall bar alone.

then i was IMing briefly with the rich kid and he very generously extended me the offer of joining him and his friends to party, but with the disclaimer that he would not be able to entertain me much. i worried a lil that maybe he was just inviting me to be nice and 'coz he pitied my bored-at-home situation... but heck i was too bored and restless to care... and so i accepted it.

not entertaining me was probably putting it mildly. he introduced me to his friends and in turn his friends introduced me to their friends. and since i'm generally pretty social, it wasn't long before i was chatting happily with 'em... even more than i was with him. in fact i suddenly became BFF with this girl i met and we even exchanged contact numbers and promises to meet up and party together soon.

so i must say that the rich kid didn't impress me at all. he pretty much left me on my own. we started off at this bar before heading next door to a club. he and his friend disappeared for a while to get into the club while it was still early. so by the time it was time for all of us to head to the club, i was the only one who hadn't already "gotten into" the club. well at least the rich kid made arrangements for my new BFF (that was before she became my new BFF) to sign me into the club. but still, i thought it was uncool of him...

in the club, the rich kid was busy with his friends who seemed to pop up randomly everywhere. i mean that's okay with me. but i suppose it would have been nice if he did seem like he was keeping a lookout to see if i was okay. in fact a guy friend of my new BFF who i had been happily chatting with, seemed more concerned if i was okay. though me being me, i'm usually okay. however i did wander over to chat with the rich kid from time to time if i didn't see him particularly engaged in conversation with some friends. and yes, i admit that at some points i did flirt with him... though in a way that could have totally been taken as joking around. he was jokingly asking me if i found any cute guys and what was my type (he already knows my type since we had a previous non-alcoholic conversation bout that). and in turn i jokingly asked what was his. he likes 'em classy. whatever that means. according to some acquaintances/friends, i'm classy in the "you can't touch this" kinda way. yeah well... maybe not classy enough for the rich kid.

i soon grew tired and wanted to head home. unfortunately once i headed outside, i realised that it was pouring and it forced me to head back in to find the rich kid, explaining the rain situation. i stayed in the club for a lil while more chatting with my new BFF when the rich kid passed by and said that he was heading off. he drove but he didn't offer me a lift despite knowing bout the rain situation. yeah sure he doesn't exactly live near to me... but hey my new BFF offered to drive me home and she lives even further from me than he does. in the end i declined her offer 'coz i just didn't wanna inconvenience her and made my own arrangements home.

as i crawled into bed, i thought bout how sometimes girls are just better than guys.

but despite that, i dreamt bout the rich kid. it seemed like my fantasy extension of the night. where it ended with a good flirty conversation and a few kisses. 'coz apparently despite everything, i still kinda like him... darn! when would i learn to guard my feelings against the possibly unworthy?

just get it over and done with

my recent foray back into the world of online dating had me IMing 2 guys pretty regularly. one was a guy who found me on the online dating site. he's asked me out for coffee a couple of times but somehow i wasn't all that keen enough to rearrange my schedule. but today i did.

not that i'm keen. i knew right from the start that i wasn't keen. but i think it was just a natural progression from the IMing. so when he asked again to meet up, i finally agreed. afterall it was just a quick coffee for bout an hour near my place since he was around the area to teach one of his students. i thought that perhaps this was a good time to just get over and done with this meeting up thing.

it may have only been for slightly more than an hour... but gosh did the hour feel long. as expected i was not attracted to him physically at all. and honestly i got irritated with the conversation especially when he implied that me pushing myself in my sport meant that i had something to prove to the world.

i was bored and annoyed and counting the minutes while trying not to look at my watch too obviously. thankfully the annoying mouth-clicker had to leave by a certain time and i just bout chased him off to his appointment with his student.

even though it wasn't fun at all (and due to some timing issue i actually wound up paying for his drink and decided not to claim back from him 'coz it wasn't that much anyway), i don't regret meeting the annoying mouth-clicker. i think it was just something that needed to be done. a certain short 'sacrifice' i needed to make so that it would be easier to make up stories bout why i was busy for the indefinite future.

and as much as i hate to admit it, it was also to trick my warped mind into thinking that the rich kid isn't as big a deal to me as i initially thought. yeah well, i don't think that's really working. i'm still remembering that the last time we IMed was on monday where he said he would let me know if he was heading out on wednesday. i'm trying to ignore him on IM but i already caved in today with no response.

add it to the mix that i've been thinking bout dj guy again recently. there's just something bout him that makes me miss him... sigh...

i definitely need a new guy to makeout with... or maybe a makeout session with a certain few guys from the past...

possibility... of escaping feelings...

i'm pretty close to my family, to the point where i'm the type to tell my mom bout guy stuff. and she in turn will tell my dad. of 'coz what she only knows bout is if i actually go out with the guy. she doesn't know bout the random guys. mommy dearest certainly doesn't ever need to know bout her darling daughter's tipsy random escapades.

so over the weekend i went for a roadtrip with the family. and that just meant an extended time of having to talk. where it seemed like the topic of the day was the rich kid.

see, my dad is very excited bout him. i have no idea why. i thought moms are usually the ones. but no, my single status has gotten so desperate such that my dad is excited that i finally went out with a guy. nevermind that it wasn't really a date. but i think my dad is planning a future for me and the rich kid.

my mom just asked me if i preferred the rich kid or my family friend's setup ('coz apparently that's the last guy i "went out with" that i was interested in. of 'coz that's 'coz they don't know bout dj guy and how strongly i feel bout him or bout how half the time i wanna jump the mind-reader...), if i had gotten over someone and constantly asked if the rich kid contacted me and if i was going to contact him... of which the answer to that is no and probably yes.

so suffice to say, my mind was on the rich kid a lot. it's weird 'coz i'm not sure why but sometimes i would find my mind drifting to him.

and then it hit me... just like the way only these kinda revelations can hit you... i don't know how i managed it, but i do believe that i've somehow wound up liking the rich kid.

it's terrible 'coz i've only met up with him alone once and met up with him in a group twice (including the first time we met) and chatted with him online a few times... but yet, i find myself actually liking him...

granted it's not in this i'm-head-over-heels-in-like-with-him kinda way, it's a lil more subtle than that... but it's there. it's there enough for my interest to be piqued, for me to actually miss talking to him, for me to actually wanna meet up with him. i'm not sure if there's the big "show" of definitely opening of my heart. but i can't deny that there's certainly that feeling of possibility.

and i value any feeling of possibility i can get... even though the part inside me that fears that he doesn't feel the same, just wants to find someone new so that i won't like him as much...

IM is the new conversation

strangely i had this feeling that i should say something to the rich kid bout not being interested in the nice shirt guy. but i didn't really know how to approach that topic.

the next day we were IMing...

the rich kid: sorry i didn't speak to you much
the rich kid: cause i haven't seen some of my friends for a long while
jo: no worries i understand
jo: it's time for you to catch up with your friends :P
the rich kid: i thought *insert nice shirt guy's name* would entertain you as well
the rich kid: haha

and there was my opening...

jo: hahaha! speaking of which...
jo: what is the deal man? you guys pimping me out??
the rich kid: haha
the rich kid: no
jo: 'coz *insert name of the girl i met on saturday* was like making it seem like that haha!
jo: i suddenly felt caught in a matchmaking show haha!
the rich kid: no
the rich kid: she was just talking about how we met to *insert another friend's name* i think

we digressed for a moment and then...

the rich kid: anyways what do you think abt *insert the nice shirt guy's name*?
jo: he's nice
the rich kid: anything else?
jo: pimping me out right???
jo: what the hahaha!
the rich kid: no
the rich kid: just wondering
the rich kid: since u mentioned abt it just now

i figured it was now or never...

jo: i think he's nice but i'm not interested
the rich kid: oh
the rich kid: not ur kinda guy ya
jo: yeah i guess
the rich kid: yupz
the rich kid: thought so

and i'm not sure what that means.

****

in other news i'm being reminded why i love some suggestive IMing with the mind-reader.

the mind-reader: hey
jo: hey
the mind-reader: what you doing?
jo: just finished showering
jo: whatcha doing?
the mind-reader: why wasn't i invited?
jo: haha! you're too far away to be invited
the mind-reader: distance is a non issue
jo: i'll bear that in mind

and the lil innuendoes carried on from there. not as great as our previous suggestive IMing but hey i'll take any suggestive IMing whenever i can.

seriously half the time i think we just need to get tipsy together and just get it on... but the other half of the time i think that if we did, it just might make me more emotionally attached... and i usually like to try to avoid that...

the rich crowd

i had half prepared for it to be relatively boring tuesday night. and then guy 3 aka the rich kid came online and we chatted for a bit.

the rich kid: let's go for coffee now
jo: are you serious?
jo: haha!
the rich kid: yeah
the rich kid: now

and so an hour later, we met up for coffee at a location relatively near my place.

it was really good to chat with him. and i think he felt likewise. we just talked bout everything and nothing at all.

through the course of the conversation, i started getting this feeling that he was pretty well to do. but 3 hours later when he offered to drive me home, i knew for sure... he drove a mercedes sports car.

but i just liked that there weren't any airs bout him. and that we got along well. i also felt that there was more to him than just a guy who liked to hang out at the bar. and while i claim that i'm not quick to judge all bar/club guys (afterall i myself do party regularly and i still consider myself to be a good girl), it's nice to know the other side of a person when he's not drinking.

that said, we met up again last night for drinks at the bar that we met initially on saturday. quite a few of his friends were there, including the nice shirt guy and the girl that i met on saturday. and that's when it got a bit confusing...

everything the girl said was obviously hinting like there was something between me and the nice shirt guy. which there so isn't. he's perfectly nice and all but i'm just not attracted to him.

the problem is 'coz i kinda like the rich kid (and no, it's not a money thing 'coz the nice shirt guy is rich too). and that's complicated. 'coz let's just say that even if he were to be interested in me, he might step back 'coz his friend was the one who wanted to get to know me first. i mean we didn't even get to talk much last night.

not that there's anything at all with us. we're still playing the friends card. and i get the feeling that he has a lot of friends including females. i'm not sure if he's the player type... somehow i don't really get that vibe... but you never know. i just like hanging out with him and well honestly, i'm a bit interested as well...

but something has to be said bout a guy who makes me wanna really hang out with him doing 'normal' stuff like having coffee and watching movies instead of just drinking. and afterall he himself mentioned before that he doesn't party when he's attached and that sometimes the drinking thing just gets boring.

juggling IM conversations

last night i was up till nearly 3am chatting with 3 guys on IM.

so in no particular order... here are the guys who kept me awake last night...


guy 1:

he's one of the guys that i winked at via the online dating site. he added me on IM. we've chatted a few times since. i've mentioned that i'm kinda interested but he's not exactly rushing to ask me out. but yet whenever we get into one of our chats, it's undeniable that we do get along really well.

we're both similarly quirky and yet can be total opposites. and freakier still, we have on a few occasions been in the same vicinity (and once in the exact same smallish club) as each other but of 'coz neither of us knew it till now. he drinks and parties and likes play fighting (ooh!) and is also a preacher's kid! haha! that would totally suit me.

guy 2:

my ex-department-colleague has been talking bout introducing me to a guy friend of hers. in fact she herself is fast becoming a friend of mine.

so for the last few weeks she has added me to her conversation with him. and so far he's been a pretty good conversant.

on saturday i met up with her and her bunch of friends at a bar that i have never been before. it was a really great time. i just got along well with everyone to the point that her boyfriend actually raved bout how outgoing i was and how it was very easy to just talk to me.

anyhow this guy friend of hers was there as well. we didn't talk a whole lot but it was still nice to put a face to a conversation. there is no attraction on my part but he is pretty good to talk to as was evident from our first IM conversation alone last night.

guy 3:

on that same saturday, my ex-department-colleague and i were checking out this cute guy who walked past us at the bar. it turns out that he's an old friend of her boyfriend. he was with another guy and girl and i somehow at that point i got introduced to the guy he was with (who had a nice shirt and i told him so) and not to the cute guy.

my ex-department-colleague's boyfriend was inside the bar catching up with his friends when he came outside where the rest of us were. he chatted briefly with his girlfriend and then told me that the not cute guy wanted to buy me a drink and wanted me to go inside the bar. maybe i should start paying guys more compliments on their attire.

anyhow i went inside to chat with that group and they were really nice. they were just all very easy to talk to. i was attracted to the cute guy but i had to try and keep my attraction in check since they all knew that in all likelihood, the not cute guy probably was a bit interested in me.

the cute guy and i somehow started talking bout meeting up at the bar again on wednesday and he got my number. i was surprised that yesterday night he texted me and asked for my IM.

it was a really good IM chat. just as engaging as a real life conversation with him is. he said that he would try and get the same group down for drinks on wednesday but if not, then it would be just the 2 of us. well i can't say that i'm too disappointed at that...


so it may not exactly be the most exciting guy action but getting to know new people is always good...