the solution

i've been feeling disconnected from the ad-man since last week... and even though he initiated an IM conversation yesterday night and i suppose we did have a pretty alright chat, it didn't quite feel the same.

somehow one of the topics got to dating. and he said these words...

the ad-man: i choose serial dating for now
the ad-man: LOL

these lil words. they just bout crushed me.

i think maybe we're in 2 different stages of our lives. i've "serial dated" for a long time and am admittedly a lil tired of the randomness of it all. he's been in relationships for 9 out of the last 10 years and is really liking being single and wanting to serial date.

the answer would be that i go back to my old ways. "serial date". try and find someone(s) new to help me stop liking him so much.

the problem is this. i feel "guilty". this is ridiculous. i'm also mildly digusted at my pathetic self for actually feeling "guilty". how the heck did i get blind-sided into feeling like this?

the solution is that i've decided i don't care how "guilty" i might feel or how tired i might be of the dating scene or if sometimes i just really can't be bothered... i'm going to force myself to do it. to just try. to get back into that dating scene again. to have whatever random fun i want with whichever random person i want. and maybe one day it might not be that random afterall. but whatever it is, at least i had fun along the way.

well at least i hope so...