the email i won't send

from: jo
to: drummer boy:
subject: the epilogue

dear *insert drummer boy's name*,

i liked you. i don't know why but i really did like you. and to say that i'm now deeply disappointed in you would be putting it mildly. the least i expected was that you would dignify my email with a response. but you couldn't even do that.

i wouldn't have minded if you didn't know how to response, but i minded that you weren't man enough to give a proper response anyhow. that you chose to ignore it entirely and not 'fess up to suddenly realising that you were just not that into me afterall. and there i thought that you would be the type to be more into open and honest communication since you kept wanting to have all these define the relationship talks before.

well i guess things change. you changed. and i'm still trying to play catch-up.

but when all is said (or unsaid in this case) and done, i thank you for the memories. it's been good... mostly. and i think in this short time i've indeed learnt a fair bit... bout myself, bout what i like, bout the possibility of a proper relationship.

given everything, it might take me a while to get over this... but i'll get there. i know i will. i know i have to. so bear with me as you carry on your merry way (if you should even ever think of me at all). it's not as easy for me as it is for you. it really really isn't.

all the best... and i guess this is goodbye. even if i can't quite face it yet...

cheers,
jo