the festive gloom

i'm not usually the festive type. i mean i do have family time which is nice and all but the festive period always makes me feel especially lonely.

on christmas eve i met up with my new party BFF, ms cool cat and a few other friends of friends. it felt a lil sad that essentially i had to almost invite myself 'coz i overheard a conversation they had last weekend bout their plans. and i felt even more sad when i realised much later that my party girl, the yummy mommy and few other girlfriends who i also know, went out partying without asking me. and these are the girls that i hang out with regularly. these are supposedly my girls. that hurt. and once again i felt all forgotten and alone.

i guess i should be thankful that at least i did something. i like my new party BFF and ms cool cat and we had a pretty fun time. i got to know this guy who was a friend of their friend who i think could be a bit interested. afterall he's been texting me and even asked me out.

yeah the thing is he isn't my type. we chatted a lil when we met while partying but i know that we pretty much have nothing in common. as terrible as it sounds, i guess i just didn't quite know what to say when he asked for my number except to give it. and a minor thing is that he shares the same first name as drummer boy and frankly at this point, i don't think i can cope with someone sharing his name. (though on a side note, the ad-man, cutie aussie colleague and mr. metrosexual share the same first name too. and yes all those boys in one year!)

in just one day i've been back and forth on dating. at first i was all raring to go. wanting to meet new boys and all that. and now i'm feeling all lonely leading my solitary life that i'm too jaded to try again.

and it doesn't help that i was supposed to meet up with the guy from the online dating site tomorrow and he essentially backed out on me. at first making it seem like 'coz he thought i needed rest from being sick earlier in the week. yeah well i made it clear to him that i was certainly well enough to be running about town as i was the night before. but then he 'fessed up that he needed to do some christmas errands. which honestly i suppose is all well and good. but 'coz my schedule can be pretty packed, it's not looking likely that i'll be meeting up with him anytime soon.

so i guess it's back to my lonesome once again. the only way i've ever seemed to know...

it's hard enough without that special someone, but it's harder without friends.

merry christmas ya'll.