and we're moving along at the speed of light...

love is a funny lil thing.

there have been times where i'm sure that i "love" (i use apostrophes 'coz i'm partially commitment phobic like that) someone even though i'm not with the guy though he has most certainly made it to my heart. but 'coz of the obvious lack of true commitment to each other, it was easy to put those apostrophes and say that maybe it's not really love anyway.

but what happens if you're in a relationship and you start to feel those familiar tinglings of what you've deemed previously as signs of budding love? the kind of signs where you profess outloud your love for him to yourself just to see if you can even get the words out. and you'll know how you feel by the way your gut rejects it or your heart smiles.

let's say that you think you love him. but then every other movie out there always makes it seem like actually vocalising those words to the intended loved one is such a big deal that you need to wait months, years, forever, before you even think of saying it. that is assuming you don't stutter in your attempt to say it out.

so in my case, the alpha boy and i have on previous occasions somewhat implied "i love you". generally more so for him than for me (not 'coz i don't think i feel the same but 'coz i'm partially commitment phobic like that). he said things like "i love you just the way you are", "i love you, not your dog" (and please don't start on how wrong that sounds but well it was in response to my "love me, love my dog" saying), "don't worry i still love you" and various other implications.

after the whole discussion bout the situation with the "other woman" had him text me...

the alpha boy: in case you haven't alrerady figured this out i love you and i want you to feel secure..

whoa wait a min... did he just say what i think he did? and so i decided that i just had to make sure.

the alpha boy: yes you do.. i love you dear

and i said it back in return.

but so far neither one of us has actually said it to each other verbally...

****

so the first plan to meet up with his family didn't quite happen. the second plan was a sunday lunch... except that it wasn't just with his family... it was also his extended family.

his mom thought that maybe with more people there, it would seem less like they (meaning his parentals) were interrogating me. but instead i found myself being "interrogated" by 3 sets of parents!

his mom is pretty cool and so were his 2 aunts and uncles. the cousins were too young to bother talking to me and his brother seemed a lil shy to talk to me. this side of his extended family is like a melting pot of various nationalities, and i haven't even met the other members of his extended family of different nationalities as well. but i reckon 'coz i'm me, i was able to get along with all of 'em pretty well. so well in fact that the alpha boy thought it appropriate to essentially leave me there for a bit to get grilled by all the parental types while he played fooseball with his cousins.

yes, he left me alone!

he claimed that he felt like i was confident enough to handle it all and i seemed to be doing fine and dandy. yeah well but besides getting grilled to a nice well done, i reckon i survived it all.