Sunday, June 21, 2009

there's me... and then there's her

the alpha boy has 3 women in his life. his mother, me and his ex-girlfriend. and he's stated that if he were stuck on a desert island and allowed to bring 2 people with him, it would be me and his ex-girlfriend.

so yes, that goes without saying that he and his ex-girlfriend are really close. well they dated for 6 months 7 years ago but have still maintained being close platonic friends. i don't think for one minute that he will ever cheat on me with her or even get back with her, but admittedly i'm finding this increasingly strange.

i mean i don't really consider myself to be the jealous type but sometimes it's a wee bit hard when i know that they have lengthy phone conversations a few times a week. and sometimes i even get the feeling that he can talk to her more than he can talk to me. which is probably the biggest "problem".

i'm terrible at small talk. he's known her for 7 years. they are totally alike (which incidentally was the reason why they couldn't ever be together 'coz they were killing each other). of 'coz they have heaps of things to talk bout. which sometimes makes me wonder if i'm getting the drabs of his conversational prowess or if maybe i'm not engaging him enough. which then makes me feel like my life is boring and that i'm turning boring in general.

i'm not sure if what i feel is flat-out jealousy for his ex-girlfriend and i don't want to feel jealous. as it is, i don't like it that i feel enough for him to even feel jealous. as you know, i like to try and avoid feelings in general though to no avail. she seems pretty understanding as in he's said that she contacts him less now that he's attached. and i don't want to be the uncool girlfriend who gets all wound up by an ex-girlfriend from 7 years ago and who doesn't like her boyfriend to have female friends. all this doesn't quite make sense.

maybe the truth is just that i'm insecure that my conversations aren't going to be as interesting as hers with him and that it'll eventually be hard for him to talk to me. we're very different. night and day. and i wonder if that makes a difference in this case.



At 10:10 PM, Blogger audrey22 said...

Aww thats a sticky situation but I have to tell you I would be jealous. I've never really got the whole being friends with exs thing I'm not sure I'd like my bf to be close friends with an ex. Even though they are just platonic friends and clearly there is a reason why they didn't work you can't help but feel a bit wary. However I dont think you should worry about your conversations in comparison to her, he chose you to be with. And remember they've known each other for awhile so I guess thats why they have so much to talk about. Comparing yourself to others is the worst but I know sometimes its hard not to. In my opinion tho, you have nothing to worry about :)

At 4:08 PM, Blogger jo said...

audrey: thanks for your advice. you are right that i shouldn't be comparing myself to others. but sometimes it's hard... especially when it's an ex. i don't think i have anything to worry bout per se but i can't help but feel a wee bit jealous. okay maybe the first step is admitting it?

At 7:47 AM, Blogger SaneAndSingle said...

Yeah, I have to say I may be a little jealous too. I'm always skeptical when a man's best friend is another woman, for some reason.

At 2:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, that is wierd... but at least he can mantain long term friendships. Go ahead and be jealous, but also listen to your gut that says its wierd but not a threat. At least it wasn't the ex and the mom he wanted to take on a desert island...

At 5:08 PM, Blogger jo said...

a0m0y7: hahaha! thanks for putting that into perspective for me. yeah if he wanted to bring his ex and his mom with him on the desert island, i'd have bigger issues haha!


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