Saturday, June 13, 2009

the start of temptation...

i like to think that i'm the true blue type. but of 'coz i've been single practically forever so really, how would i know? it's easy to remain faithful when alcohol isn't involved but i've always kinda suspected that with alcohol, a cute guy and my sometimes random making out behavior, the lines might not be that clear cut afterall.

the first time i met my party girl's 24 year old german intern was during her birthday celebrations 1.5 months ago. admittedly i did find him somewhat attractive and if i was single and the alpha boy wasn't right there at her party, i might have considered... not that he was actually hitting on me then. but we did have a chance to talk as we shared a taxi together at the end of the night and he seemed nice as well.

yesterday night i met up with my party girl and her male colleagues. i actually find that i can really get along with 'em. it just seemed easy to joke around and have fun. somewhere in the course of the night, my party girl's german intern and i got to talking and he got to being more handsy. it wasn't in a gropey sorta way. it was in an almost friendly kinda way. he held my back, my shoulders, my arm, my hand (for a bit), my waist and poked or tickled me occasionally. we danced a lil as pretty much a group where in one group hug he rubbed my back. in one of our conversations, he joked bout me having to kiss him. but in all it still didn't feel like a total come-on. it felt more jesty friendly. but yet there was still that slight element that it wasn't just entirely platonic either.

it was strange. 'coz this might actually be the first time where i find myself being attracted to someone else while not being single. where i had to consciously reel myself and wonder what was deemed as appropriate behavior. okay so if i'm honest, i'd say that if the alpha boy knew, he would not be pleased. but nothing happened. and i'm quite sure it didn't mean anything 'coz later my party girl's german intern got picked up by this girl just before the rest of us decided to leave. i'm not sure how that ended but he does strike me as a bit of possible player type so...

which then really sets things straight for me. bout how most of the guys i meet aren't really for the long-term at all. and the all-important trustworthiness is sadly lacking. which just reminded me of something a guy acquaintance that i knew from the clubs a few years ago said to me recently when we ran into each other... bout how when you're younger (not that he's that old but just over a decade older than i am with a live-in girlfriend of 7 years) you think that you can find better guys 'coz you're attracted to other guys (besides your partner). but as you get older, you realise that there are very few guys that you are attracted to and yet connect with and that you really treasure.

so yeah it's perfectly normal for me to be attracted to someone else. but i do treasure the alpha boy and that just means i will have to keep consciously reeling myself in. i like to think that in time it will get easier.

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At 4:01 PM, Blogger jojo said...

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At 7:43 PM, Blogger lady_waiting_impatiently said...

Hey Jo,

Thanks so much for your comments over on my blog! I really enjoyed your post today - it's very difficult to know what is and isn't acceptable behaviour with the 'coupled' from either side of the fence! I have a number of coupled-up male friends and it can be very difficult to know what's allowed/not allowed as far as touching/play flirting,hugging etc goes, especially if their partner is quite new. Clearly the tricky things stay tricky, single or coupled! Keep fighting off the temptation - Alpha boy sounds like he might just be a good one, even if he is in need of some re-training!

At 2:19 PM, Blogger jo said...

lwi: i think the boundaries of acceptable behavior depends largely on the couple 'emselves and how they view certain behavior. it's just tricky to negotiate that. 'coz you don't really wanna upset your partner. but yet, sometimes you can't help attraction to another person.

and yeah re-training is the word haha! the alpha boy needs some. but i reckon that's normal with every new relationship.


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