i think i'm paranoid

just yesterday my friend with the less than apparent sparkage with her boyfriend told me that she had just broken up with him.

i must admit that even though i knew she was having all these issues, it surprised and saddened me. somehow it still seemed sudden. she told him that she wanted to take a break though there were no discussions of what the "parameters" were. like how long would this so-called break be, would they revisit the issue again after an allocated period of time, were they allowed to see other people, would they still talk to each other... you know, stuff like that.

which of 'coz i can imagine would make the poor guy confused. he's understandably very sad. he's a lovely guy who tried for bout a year before he got her to agree to be his girlfriend. and now just after a year and a half, she decides that she wants to take a break.

the thing is that she's not feeling sad. in fact she said that she's feeling almost clinical bout it all. i'm not sure if it just hasn't hit her properly yet. anyhow it doesn't sound like a good sign?

which leads me to wonder if eventually they will break up properly and have that needed closure.

all this strangely affects me in some way 'coz i really do like him and think that apart from physically looking like her younger brother, he's a really sweet guy who is great for her. she's a lovely girl but can also be a bit too fiesty for most other guys to take. he seemed like the perfect compliment to her. in this seemingly short time, i've gotten used to 'em being a couple.

but beyond all that, this also affects me 'coz i then wonder what the future lies for the alpha boy and myself.

i mean we're doing good. possibly even better than we used to be. but i suppose a part of me hasn't quite fully gotten over his revelation on the maybe we're platonic angle. maybe i'm just being all paranoid 'coz like i said, in the last month since the big bombshell, we've been doing good. and i still can't see how on earth we can possibly be platonic when the physical aspect of our relationship is still going strong.

but that said, sometimes it's hard to not just naturally subconsciously project the outcome of your own relationship based on the outcome of someone else's relationship. not that i want that outcome. not in the least. it's crazy how it has come to bother me (more so than the alpha boy 'coz he's a lot more logical and practical while i'm more emotional) as much as it does if i were to think of us not being together.

i'm just trying to keep my head together, not get too paranoid and remind myself that i really do think that we're doing good.