Tuesday, November 17, 2009

honey, you're the one (of the "few") for me

every now and then i get various people (my best friend, my friend, the alpha boy's friend) asking me if i think that the alpha boy is the one. and every time i can never give them an actual answer.

i mean seriously who knows? it doesn't mean that i'm unhappy with the alpha boy or that i want to date someone else 'coz that is so far from that. maybe i haven't been with him long enough? though a great number of people have gotten married in less than the amount of time i've been with him. or maybe it's 'coz i'm not entirely convinced bout the term "the one".

as kids, we've always talked bout "the one". the romeo to your juliet, only far less tragic. the clyde to your bonnie, only far less criminal. the ben to your jerry...

the point is, we are looking for someone to, as jerry maguire says, "complete me". someone who would make you look back on your sometimes too darn crazy single days (the good and the bad kinda crazy) and think dang you sure wouldn't wanna be back there again.

for the longest while, i too was swept away by the romantic notion of "the one". but as time passed, i started looking at it from a more logical point of view.

i don't really believe in the "one", i believe in the "few".

i realise that this suddenly makes it sound like i'm either into polygamy or lack the capacity for a committed relationship but neither is the case. i just think that if you think bout it, the "one" doesn't really make sense. all it takes is for one person to mess up and choose someone who wasn't the "one" for him/her (and you know that that is bound to happen) and a whole bunch of other people could be coupled with non "ones" or simply be forced to stay single.

when i say that i believe in the "few", i mean that i think that there are a few people who, based on personality and character traits, would be suitable for one person. and then it's simply a matter of free will, opportunity, geographical location and other real life reasons that make or break relationships.

this does not make it any easier to find someone.

but it does make the alpha boy one of the "few" for me.

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At 4:27 PM, Blogger little miss angry said...

i like how you've phrased this. i believe in 'the few'.. :)

At 6:37 PM, Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I thought my last boyfriend was The One. But now I look back and believe more than anything that The One / Love is nothing more than hormones and chemical reactions in the brain.

We just add the rest on for narrative sakes and to keep things more interesting. It's a lot more logical to think there will be a few.

At 9:19 PM, Blogger SaneAndSingle said...

I think there are a few that that you can make it happen with...like you, I'm not so sure about THE ONE.

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At 1:34 AM, Blogger jo said...

thanks ladies for agreeing with me :) hmmm... i now find myself wondering what happens if you met a few of the "few". what then might happen? would there be a "one" among the "few"?

At 6:36 AM, Blogger Hypatia said...

Agreed. Those "few" are few and far between though!

At 11:37 AM, Anonymous belle said...

you nailed it. I too believe in "a few".
My fathers first wife died before he married my mom... so I know for a fact there exists more than 1 per person

At 6:39 AM, Blogger Dater at Large said...

It's so limiting to think of "the one", or even "the one" among "the few". You might have one or multiple great loves but ultimately I think things work out they way they "should". Which of course you can only see after the fact. That's what makes it so exciting. And frustrating, too.

At 7:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 8:13 AM, Blogger Anomylous said...

Well, for me, it feels like "the none"!

But I agree, I believe that there can be more than one person you can be happy with. Jut look at all of the people who remarry after they are widowed. They probably thought their spouse was "the one" and a lot of people are able to find another person to be just as happy with.

At 11:59 AM, Blogger You Make My Date said...

I completely agree with you...the only sad thing is, I can't even find One out of The Few! Seriously, my odds suck.


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