Friday, November 13, 2009

but really what do i know?

a few years ago some guy friends joked that i could write a book bout dating. something to provide guys with a female perspective and give them some information on how to date.

it's funny 'coz i don't think that i have a lot of dating experience. yes, i have dated some. and yes, i have been exposed to the party lifestyle (those guy friends haven't) which have allowed me to see and experience some less conventional dating styles. but that's bout it... some personal paltry psuedo dating experiences with mainly men who weren't even worth it.

but perhaps it's exactly that that makes me want the good guys to win. it's almost like i sometimes feel the need to try and help these good guys (who mostly seem to come across as pretty shy) to step up, level the playing field and beat the players out there whose expertise seem to run only to breaking girls' hearts.

there are guys like shy (now ex) colleague (who i have always nicknamed as my angel boy), who is a lovely guy but seemed to be getting the short end of the stick from a girl he's pseudo dated. i think girls need more guys like him, sweet and sincere. but at the same time my advice to him was not to take this crap. i mean obviously you gotta be nice to the girl you're interested in but not in that bend-over-backwards way that i've seen some guys do. sure, you might eventually get the girl after prolonged periods of being her doormat, but how is that sustainable? he needed to be confident, to know his worth and believe that a girl who didn't see him as a catch just wasn't worth the trouble anyway.

it was the same advice i found myself recently giving to another ex colleague. he's a 22 year old ex intern who has strangely always reminded me a lil of my angel boy. maybe it's in the youth (my angel boy is just a year older than he is), maybe it's just something in their personality. but they are both good guys. good guys that i seem to have a bit of a soft spot for and want to see winning the girl.

after our IM chat, the ex intern echoed the same sentiments as my guy friends did years ago and told me that i could write a book on this.

and i'm the girl who only recently just got a boyfriend. i think it's safe to say that i'm not qualified for this.

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At 11:09 PM, Anonymous freckledk said...

Being a logical, rational person qualifies you, not your own history. Your advice was spot-on.

At 9:28 AM, Blogger jo said...

freckledk: thanks for your vote of confidence :)

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Dater at Large said...

I don't think anyone is ever truly qualified for dating advice, not married folk, not folks who are dating, not single people.

So much of dating is up for chance, who you meet and when and what you do/do not decide to do... any advice would be specific to the person who was giving it and who they were giving it to.

Sometimes it's the talking about it that is helpful, not so much what is said. Not that you don't have good advice, of course! Cause I think you do.

At 2:33 PM, Blogger jo said...

dater at large: you do have a point. 'coz a lot of times it really depends on the scenario and the people involved. there probably isn't just one advice to give. unless of 'coz one party is a being an idiot and the one appropriate advice to give the other party is to just move on.

At 6:50 PM, Blogger You Make My Date said...

Haha oh man, I get told my life should be written as a soap series. In fact, my flatmates love gathering around every sunday and eagerly asking me what the next "episode" in my life was that week.

So a book sounds much, much better (and less insane)! Plus, you've got a very rational way of looking at things, which is what everyone likes to hear with relationship advice.

PS. If you ever write the book, I'll buy it for my flatmate Jay. He's exactly like your angel boys!

At 10:33 AM, Blogger jo said...

you make my date: you life does sound like a soap series. a very interesting one at that. i guess i've been told my single life is a lil like that too. my friends used to keep asking me which boys i was dating this time haha! and btw your flatmate jay sounds like a lovely guy!

At 12:48 PM, Blogger Dater at Large said...

Ah, those dating idiots... they're everywhere it seems!

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