it's not that i care, i'm just curious

the online social utility site is an amazing stalker device. and i'm not even gonna deny it, sometimes i do stalk.

recently i realised that i have a "favorite" person to stalk. i don't stalk that person often but on the off chance that i do see any status update, i do take a peek into the person's profile and see what other updates i've missed.

and i'm not exactly proud to say this but that person is the ad-man.

now that's someone who i haven't talked bout in bout a year. and that's simply 'coz i don't care. okay maybe i might since i'm still checking out his profile every now and then. but i've justified this as 'coz being as eloquent as he is, his status updates and comments are generally well thought out and interesting (at least as much as it can get in a couple of sentences). and being as attractive as he is, his pictures are visually appealing. and okay okay i'm also curious bout his love life.

sue me. i think mostly i'm just still slightly disgruntled bout how things ended between us (that is assuming that we even started). as in they didn't really end. we went from chatting online for hours every day for months and meeting up with each other semi frequently to him suddenly not even appearing online at all (i highly suspect that he blocked me). that's enough cause for a girl to go a lil bat shit crazy wondering what happened. as far as i could tell, nothing happened. we didn't have a falling out. he wasn't offended by something i said. i didn't stalk him. i believe he just met someone else and got attached soon after.

which is fine. i mean come on, i'm a big girl. you don't even have to have any kind of talk with me where you let me down gently bout how you don't think this will ever work out and all that jazz. all it would have taken was a simple mention bout a new love interest or girlfriend and i would have gotten the hint real quick. i would have wished him all the best, set my own feelings aside and continue being friends. but no, he did not even have the decency to do that.

knowing his track record of past girlfriends and how half of them only lasted a month makes me extra curious bout how long the next girlfriend will last. the one he coupled up with right after he poofed on me lasted a month. and then he was single for a while (i don't know how long, i don't stalk that much). and then some time back (i don't know when, 'coz like i said, i don't stalk that much) he got coupled up with another girl who from my stalker skills i have inferred that he probably have known since his teenage years. she seems normal and they seem like they are still going strong so at least that breaks his one month record.

actually i don't really care too much. he lost so much points with me for showing poor character that in my eyes, there's no way he could ever redeem himself anymore. but i suppose i'm just curious. 'coz this is the one guy whose disappearing act made such an impact on me given the depth of our previous interactions and my subsequently growing feelings. this was someone i initially thought had great potential.

so yes, i guess maybe i just still like to know what he's up to. even if i don't ever want to talk to him or see him again. and maybe i even secretly wish that he would fail in love as some kind of payback for the way he treated me. perhaps that's why i check back in every now and then to see if his "in a relationship" status has since changed...