Saturday, September 19, 2009

quick quiet moments between 2 "jo"s

my best friend is back in town for 10 days and i'm uber excited bout that. life has never been quite the same without her around and 'coz of our different life paths, it's likely that we might never be in the same part of the world together again for any long lengths of time.

this time, she's in town with her boyfriend who i've met bout 1.5 years ago when i was visiting her. however since the alpha boy and i got together semi-recently, she's never met him though she's certainly heard a lot bout him and vice versa. we arranged some sorts of a double date and i think that went pretty well.

last night we had a pretty big gathering including my best friend's sister (who i'm quite close to as well since we all grew up together), her cousin (who i used to be close to and then we drifted drastically apart) as well as my friend with the less than apparent sparkage with her (now ex?) boyfriend and said (now ex?) boyfriend. that friend shall now be called the other jo (since she is in fact, also another jo).

it was definitely a surprise when the other jo told me that she would be bringing her (now ex?) boyfriend along. and a greater surprise when i realised that in some ways, the 2 of 'em still act a lil coupley. but when i had a chance for a quick quiet moment with her and asked her what was going on with the 2 of 'em, she maintained that she was still undecided. frankly, i think she's confusing him even further by continuing to see him as much and to rest her head on his shoulder briefly. my heart went out to the (now ex?) boyfriend. i hadn't seen him in quite a while and while he always had a slightly dopey look to him, he just looked plain utterly sad last night.

the alpha boy came over to join us later in the night. he was with his friend and the "other woman". both came over as well, which i did not expect. but the "other woman" decided not to stay and join us.

in another quick quiet moment with the other jo, i quickly outlined the situation with the alpha boy and the "other woman". she understood my discomfort with their closeness. the only difference is that while i would have been equally uncomfy if it were any female friend, the other jo only felt that way 'coz it was an ex girlfriend. but yes, i acknowledge that the ex girlfriend status does not help. anyhow the other jo suggested that i should turn the tables around and do the same thing. we joked bout how i could change her name in my phone list into a guy's name and pick up calls from her when i was with the alpha boy and constantly talk bout meeting up and talking to "my friend joseph" (yes we actually gave her a fake guy's name haha!)

while that might actually be funny, i'm so not the type to actually be able to pull it off. but more importantly, the alpha boy is so not the type to fall for that. he's just too confident and secure and doesn't play that sorta game.

but that said, i can't say that i've never entertained the notion of having a really close guy friend myself. the problem is that i don't have an existing one. i mean there are guys who i can share with, but we don't talk to each other on the phone or see each other at all. and i can't just up and find that kinda friendship on the spot.

which leaves me in exactly the same situation i'm in. the alpha boy knows that i'm definitely uncomfy but yet i don't particularly feel like he's actually trying to distance himself. and in some ways, i actually do think that she's to blame for that 'coz it seems like mostly she's the one who calls him to fill him in on the lil details in her life or to meet up or something or another. i suppose she tries in her own way to be mindful in not calling him as much. but like i've said before, i think their lifes are simply too intertwined to ever really be the kind of guy-girl friends that i can truly accept.

it's frustrating for me. but i don't know what else to do anyway but to try and deal?



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