Wednesday, January 26, 2011

you can't deny it, it's all around me

lately it feels like the stories in the live of friends surrounding me have to do with "sparkage". from the other jo to the ungirly hottie to my best friend's sister. all lamented on the lack of sparks in their current partner. some of them moved onto to meet other people they shared some sparks with but who were obviously only out for a good time and wasn't settling down material. another joined an online dating site where the only option was to list that she was single and met up with a few guys for the fun of it.

i've been trying to pin down what do people exactly mean by a lack of spark. is it just a physical thing? is it something you just can't pinpoint but you know it when it is or isn't there?

the alpha boy is physcially attractive to me. in general i think he's yummy and i'm happy to be in his arms. but do we have passionate love? i don't think so. we never had that honeymoon period that so many couples claim to have had. we've always been pretty much just like this, couply enough but not honeymoony. any other "passionate love" i had in the past was only physical and nothing much else.

but is the alpha boy the best match for me in other ways? honestly, i don't think so either. we have vastly different personalities with him sometimes being too intense and negative nelly for his own good, and mine. there are also times where i think he's kinda boring. but i also know that he loves me and he treats me well. is that enough?



At 8:13 PM, Anonymous Amanda @ Wild Oats said...

It's enough if YOU love him. I personally know with myself, I can only seriously date people who make me feel safe when I'm with them. Who make me forget about every other guy. Who make me not want to date anyone else. Who make me think about them first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to bed. Does the alpha boy do these things for you? I've had these things with people who were very different from me. I think that, ultimately that's why I never really worked out, but our differences were huge. Not just personality things.

Are you having doubts because you're not sure how you feel anymore OR because of the people around you? Cuz, I've gotta say, I really envy your relationship!

At 12:43 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

Passion fizzles. You've got the slow burn-- it's better.

At 4:48 AM, Anonymous Lifebeginsat30ty said...

I think people mean spark as in finding the other person attractive and something about jelling when you meet. Like 2 pieces of flint catching fire when they meet. Not so much passion, but a harmony of personalities. Sounds like you have that with alpha boy ;)

At 11:42 AM, Blogger D said...

His love isn't enough for the both of you. You gotta figure out how he makes you feel and go from there. Try looking at the little picture, with the little things first. The big picture can be overwhelming sometimes.

At 2:20 PM, Blogger s.212 said...

For me, "the spark" is all about chemistry. Attraction is part of it but there's more to it than that. It really is quite hard to put into words!

P.s. I'm curious since I'm new to the blog, how did you meet Alpha Boy? :)

At 12:07 AM, Blogger Dater at Large said...

I guess what matters is whether the relationship you're in is working for YOU. I know folks who are in relationships I envy, and others that I would hate to be in. It works for them, though, so who am I to judge?

Is what you have with alpha boy enough? Only you know.

At 2:00 PM, Blogger jo said...

thanks guys, i got such excellent responses from everyone and it did start to get me thinking even more... i guess i'm still not sure if there's a harmony of personalities and yes, the big picture is a lil overwhelming. i suppose i'm still trying to figure it out.

s.212: ooh funny story... i actually met the alpha boy on an online dating site haha! we became friends 'coz i was stating to get interested in the swedish guy and frankly i didn't think he (the alpha boy) was interested in anything more so i didn't think bout it at all until it somehow happened haha!


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