Wednesday, December 22, 2010

she says "i love you"... he says "i love you more"

the other jo and i met up last night for some sort of a christmas meetup and catchup. in one of our topics of conversation, she brought up that she might break up with her boyfriend again.

she previously broke up with him 'coz she wasn't sure if she felt the spark. a few months later of a rather strange break (if i may say so myself) where they were constantly in contact, they (inevitably) got back together. and now, not quite a year later, she's still unsure if anything has changed.

now, i don't think that one should necessarily settle and it's not that i don't think a physical attraction and chemistry isn't important. but at the same time i also acknowledge that sometimes, you really can't have it all.

the other jo's boyfriend is a really awesome guy who treats her well. she admits that she can be bratty and he puts up with that. and i'll be honest when i say that i'm not sure how many other guys would. having seen her with previous boyfriends before, i also realised that she was the most natural when she was with this current boyfriend.

sure, she can find someone who she has more sparkage with, but what happens if he doesn't love her as much as her current guy does? will she be perfectly happy with that? i feel like that's the question.

ideally both parties should love each other equally. but i'm not convinced that that's always the case. she inquired bout my relationship with the alpha boy and it was one of the rare times where i admitted out loud to someone else that i believe that he loves me more than i love him. not that i don't love him, but he loves me more.

and i don't exactly think that that's necessarily a bad reason to be with someone.



At 2:47 PM, Blogger Miley said...

I have like 40 MILLION thoughts on this... but I will simply say - I agree with you :)

At 2:52 AM, Blogger Dobez_Gaga said...

You know, this reminds me of a marriage comment my teacher made to me. He said that people have the misconception that marriage is about feeling that "spark" everytime you see your significant other. But actually it's far from the case. Sometimes you look at the other person, as if they are just another person living in your home. However, it doesnt necessarily mean that you dont love them anymore. He said Love is commitment. I think love is weird.

At 10:51 AM, Blogger jo said...

miley: i would really like to hear your thoughts on this :)

dobez_gaga: i think your teacher was very right. i have heard some form of that before too. that love isn't all romance lovey-dovey high. not that there isn't any place for that but at the end of the day, it's bout commitment and working at it to make it work. and yeah, i'm with you on love is weird haha!

At 1:18 AM, Blogger Dater at Large said...

I guess I think that if she doesn't feel "settled" in her relationship after all this time, she's still looking for something else, then maybe it's not right. Not because she doesn't have a great thing, maybe it's just not what she needs, you know?

At 5:10 PM, Anonymous G/W said...

No. It's not a bad reason to be with someone.
Sometimes you don't know how much you love someone until something challenges it. Maybe nothing has challenged you yet.


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