the draft series: jul 2007

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original date: 20 jul 2007
title: story of a girl...
tag: insights into jo

my best friend is immensely happy.

and really why wouldn't she be? her new boyfriend has been really sweet, caring and spoiling her to bits. and yes, as part of best friend priviledges, i get to hear a fair bit of mush and gush as well.
i'm happy for her. really and truly. but at the risk of sounding like some bitter person, i admit that it does make me wonder if that kind of happiness is possible for me.

so let me tell you bout my parents...

they've been married for 29 years. happily married. very happily married. they used to work near each other and if their schedules permitted, would have lunch together everyday. now they don't lunch together but they still call and text each other lovey dovey messages everyday. it's quite gross actually haha!

that said, my mom does often have her own plans with her friends. my dad will always pick her up. always. it doesn't matter how late or how far. and he never complains either.

my dad is romantic and always willing to spend money on my mom. in fact they pull their finances together. and he will never stop my mom from spending any money though my mom is also wise enough in her spending.

they always have loads to say to each other. they can be in each other's company for a whole day and still find things to talk bout till late in the night. they always say that if they can relive their lives all over again, they will still choose each other as their spouse.

and that's the kind of family i grew up in.

a very well adjusted and loving family. a family where i see my parents being truly happy.

which is why i know that i would find it hard to adjust if my own relationship with my future spouse was anything less. 'coz i know that that kind of relationship does exist out there. that it is possible. maybe that explains my certain level of (really, it's not that high) expectations.

i just want what my parents have.

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i find myself thinking yet again that it seems so applicable for me bring up this previously draft post at this time. my supposed best friend ('coz we've drifted and it doesn't feel like we're best friends anymore) is back in town for a short vacation and she just mentioned bout how she just passed the 4 year mark with her boyfriend. so yes, that would be the same boyfriend as the new boyfriend in the previously draft post. it's nice to see that they are still going strong.

so what bout me? reading back on this, i think i've almost found what my parents have. the alpha boy does treat me really well. he contacts me everyday, sometimes with lovey dovey messages. and while we're mostly quite independent of each other financially, he doesn't mind paying for me. so maybe most other girls' boyfriends spend more money on their girlfriends. but i'm fairly understanding that this isn't always the case 'coz the alpha boy (by virtue that he is younger and had to deal with some career knocks) is just starting to get his footing in the working world.

the only thing is that sometimes i don't think we have heaps to say to each other. i guess at some point things do get mundane. the topics you talk bout usually involve work and daily happenings. the mystery and excitement of finding out more and more bout the other person gets stale as you do find out more and more. add to that the fact that strangely enough, i'm quite private and don't always like to talk. but what i do need at times is excitement, that certain high. and i don't always have it.

but i've also learnt something quite a while back. and that is it's not realistic to want what someone else has 'coz you're not that someone and what they have might not be what's best for you. i guess it's the feeling that i want. and all things considering, i'm not in too bad a place.