When it rains, it pours

So I did say that I didn't have any exciting escapades didn't I? Well, talk about famous last words.

In the months I gradually found myself in a bit of a... situation. The kind that I suppose leads me back to this blog as the only place where I document it freely and most of all, anonymously.

I mentioned that I've since met a few new guys... One of whom moved away. Well, he's still away but we still keep in occasional contact. Mostly it's really normal stuff but every now and then he pulls out something... stating it quite clearly that he found me very attractive and would have totally have tried to chase me...

"I should have moved faster eh. I wonder why I did (move away) sometimes. I remember you coming to the group. You sat beside some other guy... And I felt jealous. I just remember you swanning in in your black dress."

And then there's been someone else... someone who started out completely platonic but in our interactions and conversations through the months, we've just about found a best friend in each other... and also a possible interest.

"You are special. I wish I'd met you a long time ago and go on life's journey in a spaceship we built together. But I think if we get on that spaceship at our age now with all of our life experiences and knowledge, it would be truly unbelievable!"

Don't get me wrong... nothing physically has happened between me and anyone. But I guess I have found emotional support in other people other than the alpha boy especially since our relationship seemed to have taken another turn for the worse. It's not that he still isn't sweet to me or treat me well... but it's just that I can't help but think it more and more apparent that despite it all, we just aren't really all that compatible.

But sometimes it's hard to cut it off when he does a random sweet thing like pop by my office building before I head off for another one of my long trips...

"Are you in the office later? I want to pass you something. Have a safe trip and a fun time, do take care and think of me everyday. I miss you already."

And yes, I know I have to sort this out at some point...

No, I'm not really back...

... But every now and then I do take a walk down memory lane and even if this little blog is no longer part of my present, it's been very much an integral part of my past. I've spent plenty of time (way too much!) here sharing my thoughts, feelings and happenings and reading the same of other people I've "gotten to know" along the way. And it's still a home that I hold dear to my heart.

So why now? And why write again? And ultimately the question, what has changed since?

There must have been something that drew me back. There always was. I've come back occasionally from time to time in the last almost 1.5 years that I've remained silent, and almost always to read old entries and be reminded of a particular situation that I knew would have been documented here.

But somehow it is only now that I ever felt the need to write here again... Even if only for now.

I've since taken to penning down long excessive emails to a few selected friends, sharing my life and fulfilling a certain need to think and express myself in the written word. But the truth is, my life has gotten a lot less interesting, the way it seems to be as you grow older. Here was always a place where I only discussed my dating life and specifically kept the other aspects of my life separate. And I guess as time passed, the other aspects of my real life seemed to happen more frequently than any exciting escapades.

So where then are we all now?

My previously constant partner-in-crime, my (now ex) party girl moved back again after having left the country for 2 years. But we've stopped partying for much longer than that and have since moved onto dinner, casual drinks and early nights.

As expected, most of the guys featured here are long gone and out of contact with my only source of any information on their life being from Facebook, if at all.

I am however still working with "wayne rooney" and the last I saw him in March, we are still as "close" as ever. But we also still remain based in different country offices.

And 4 years on, the alpha boy and I are still together. There have been ups and downs and right now I'm not even quite sure if I'm on the way up or down. But well, somehow we are still hanging on and trying to make this work.

I've met a few new guys especially in the last year through work and church (as I tried to get more in touch with my spiritual side) but all truly platonic and whom I'm thankful that they have become guys that I think I could really call as friends. The most interesting thing on the guy front to have happened to me this week was having a guy tell me about how he was telling someone else that girls like me are not all that common and that  lucky he's leaving (the country) or he would probably have been chasing me. And the compliment was all that more sweet because he seemed like a genuine, decent, funny and even quite attractive bloke. Though I'm not all that sure how complimentary it is that he felt thankful that he was leaving the country haha!

Essentially I'm at the point in my life where partying, excessive drinking and making out with random guys are not just my past, but no longer of any interest to me... at all. And it's pretty much the same for my friends too. What has now occupied our time have been proper dinner catch ups and mini vacations. Our conversations have progressed from parties and the latest guy we met (though both still have their place) to career, financial planning and purchasing a home. Some of us embraced our singlehood, others our coupledom and for others both at one point or another. But we've all grown up and moved on... Together.