it was only a kiss

i think for the first time in my life, i actually sorta regret kissing someone.

now i've been in situations where i've kissed guys i just met or made mistakes in kissing some people. but despite all that i never really regreted it. i acknowledged that it probably wasn't the best thing to do but in the end i just laughed it off to myself.

last night i kissed a guy. he wasn't just any ole guy i didn't know. i've known him for over half a year. we're sorta friends. i don't know him well but 'coz we run in the same party circuit, i've seen him loads of times and we've always been friendly. there has never been any indication that either of us wanted to be anything more than friends. and yet as i said goodbye to him and received my usual kisses on the cheek and hug, he pursed his lips in my face.

at first i laughed a lil and backed away a bit. but he was insistent. so i quickly pecked him on the lips and went off on my way.

i regretted it.

i know... it's just a peck and not that huge a deal which is probably why i gave in in the first place. but i still feel a bit weird. on hindsight i could have done a few things different and escaped a kiss. i was fully sober. but at that point of time i took the 'easy' way out. i guess i just didn't want to have to 'reject' him. even though i am absolutely not attracted to him at all. ever.

well i'm not going to make a huge fuss bout it. i'm sure it didn't mean anything to him at all. it was just a friendly thing. i'm trying to just laugh it off even though it seems harder than usual. but all the same, i don't ever wanna kiss him again. it's just weird and unnatural to me.