talk to me

time really flies. my london guy friend came and left. 3 weeks gone just like that.

i met up with him 3 times during his trip here. that's actually less time spent with him then when i was in london. the first time was when we arranged to meet up one on one. the second time was when he popped by for my friend's bachelorette party. the third time was with my parentals 'coz they wanted to thank him for his hospitality in london.

you know it must mean something if out of the 3 times we met, i only blogged bout one time. or rather you know it mustn't mean anything. i think maybe we need london to feel some magic. 'coz when he was here, it was just boring. he was boring. i've realised that while he answers your questions, he doesn't really ask any in return. he's lacking in the ability to roll with a conversation. i'm chatty and friendly but i need something to go on from. and he hardly gives me anything to work with so after a while i just get tired of making (and starting) conversation. if it's anything that isn't activity based, it's kinda stressful to spend too much time with him.

but in a friendly gesture out of goodwill, i called him before he flew off. his phone line was off. so i texted him and then texted him again at his uk number. he didn't reply. i guess he flew off without even saying goodbye. i reckon in an even more friendly gesture out of goodwill, when i next see him on IM, i'd say hi. but things have definitely changed since my london trip. it's almost as though it went back to the way things were before that trip. but it doesn't really bother me. he's still a nice guy and we're still friends. but it's nice to know that i'm done here.

****

a few weeks ago i told myself that i need to go cold turkey with someone. and i mean cold turkey. no more checking out his blog, no more IMing him, maybe even change church (or at least church timings) if necessary so i won't ever have to see him. all thi in a bid to finally truly move on. i figured that maybe if i didn't ever see or hear bout him, it'll make things easier for me.

well let's see how that went... i didn't change church, i've been checking out his blog (and leaving comments no less!) and oh i've IMed him. yep it's been a while since i last did that, but somehow i did it recently. as usual when i IM him, there's a 'reason'. i wanted to ask how a particular 'competition' he recently participated in went. of 'coz i knew bout that 'competition' in the first place 'coz i read it in his blog. did you think he actually told me? nah...

we chatted briefly over IM. not exactly engaging conversation. he basically just answered my questions and as usual didn't ask any in return. i've noticed that it's like that when we've on IM. in real life, it's much better. we can have an actual conversation where i don't feel like i'm the one perpetually having to think of topics to talk bout and questions to ask. but of 'coz in order for us to meet up, i would actually have to ask him.

gosh i hate all of this.

i just want someone who will actually make an effort to talk to me, to meet up with me.

communication is everything.

****

maybe i'm getting old or something... this weekend i turned down all my chances of partying. my party girls were out but i was the one truly out of it. i just didn't feel like drinking or partying. all i wanted to do was to head home early, wake up early and working out. i guess you could almost say that i'm starting to embark on a change in lifestyle. one that includes less drinking and partying and focussing on other interests which lately just so happens to involve sporty activities.

but somehow despite that, i wound up meeting a guy. my close ex-colleague was celebrating her daughter's one year old birthday and i went for the dinner. while i was sitting around talking to my other colleagues, this guy friend of my close ex-colleague wanders over alone to our couch. he's rather friendly and somehow we all wind up talking. since he was sitting nearest to me, at some point we had a bit of our own conversation going. then his friend turned up and dinner commenced and everyone was scattered.

later i was waiting to accompany my close ex-colleague for a smoke break while that guy friend of hers was talking to her 'coz he was getting ready to leave. he then turned to me and said that we'll catch up soon. i thought that was odd but decided to let it slide. she however picked up on it fast and asked if he even had my number. so he asked for my number and gave me a miss call so that i got his too.

not exactly the best way to exchange numbers. to have your mutual friend suggest that maybe you should get her number. then again he shouldn't have said that we'd catch up soon. perhaps it was just out of habit.

anyhow i'm not putting too much expectations into this. if he calls, then great. he seems nice and we do get along. if he doesn't, then that's cool too. not gonna bother bout it too much.

afterall i have all those sporty activities i need to make time for...