Friday, February 02, 2007

tell him

last night i had the rare chance to catch up proper with my best friend face to face. we talked bout the guy she liked and she confided that a few days before she had emailed him admitting that she liked him.

she's never done this before. and i really admire her guts 'coz i'm not sure if i could ever do that. despite that for the longest time ever known to mankind, i've been into someone. and if there's someone that i should tell that i like him, it would be someone. sure i've thought bout telling him and even gotten somewhat close in the form of actually writing out a proper letter. but i never gave it to him.

my best friend's reason in admitting it to the guy she liked was so she could get over him and move on. afterall the guy has a girlfriend. and she admitted that it was easier to tell him 'coz he had a girlfriend 'coz she knew then that his rejection wouldn't be 'coz of her.

she hit the nail on the head. that's the exact reason why i was and still am too nervous to let someone know. 'coz since he's single, his rejection would mean it's me. he doesn't like me. not that his actions don't already show that he's just not that into me. but at least in my pleasant ignorance, i can sometimes console myself with certain positive vibes that he occasionally gives out.

until i find the guts to actually tell him. though it's been so long... too long... such that telling him now might just seem really strange to him...

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At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Samantha said...

After a few years of dating guys I didn't like much I started wondering why few of the guys I died for didn't asked me out. To tell the truth I dunno the answer.
Even if it remains a mistery, I decided I wasn't going to be the kind of girl who is picked out from the rest. I wanted to be the girl who picks out.
The first time was an experiment. "Hey, I was thinking on going to the movies, wanna come?". The most surprising thing I realized is that after I started being the one who chose with whom to go out, I never got a no for an answer. Even from the guy I liked the most.
Then, after a date or two I usually commented: "Hey, you're nice. I like you". No secrets, no hidden intensions. As plain as that. Really meaning "I like you". Not "I love you", not "I'm desperate". Just being true to what I feel and most important: what I want.
From that day on, I decided I am not going to be the kind of girl who gets picked out, whose romantic fate is decided by someone else but me.
If you get rejected by someone you like, relax. After all you'd never like very much someone who actually doesn't enjoy as much as you do being together. So, f*ck with him, he wasn't that special anyway. You just move on, plenty of men out there.

At 4:29 AM, Blogger Kris said...

you aren't alone in your hesitation. this is just reason no. 874 why relationships are sooooo difficult. :)

At 12:24 AM, Blogger Heart Of Darkness said...

It was very strong of her to tell her crush what she feels for him!

At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Samantha said...

Thanks for your comment. :)
Most of the times guys aren't expecting a girl to say she likes him. That's the advantage of it. When you speak up he'll be surprised and probaly take it as a compliment. The secret here is to say it casually, giving it importance but not saying it as if it were a pure declaration of love. Girls like boys, that's normal and natural. We, girls, wanna kiss guys and wanna have sex, too. Just like them. So, telling someone you like him should be as natural as eating your favorite food at any restaurant.
It could happen that you like a guy who doesn't like you. In that case, it is as plain and simple as that. No compatibility and that's all. No end of the world, no tears and shame. After all, think of this example: If you like peas but somehow peas don't like you, you are not gonna cry or be ashamed, are you? You just won't eat peas as often as you'd have liked.


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