Thursday, January 11, 2007

why won't you call me

lately i've found myself being a listening ear to my friends' guy problems.

yesterday my best friend called me from overseas where she's living, crying bout a guy she liked. he's a good friend of hers and she just spent a week in a different state with him, helping him to move. nothing unplatonic happened between 'em. the kicker is this... his girlfriend is moving there soon. that was why he was moving in the first place.

during her trip, she had the time of her life. except for moments where she admitted that she was overcome with jealousy when he would happily talk to his girlfriend over the phone. she shared that she was so happy when they were at a place where there was no phone reception.

so after she went back alone from her trip with him, he never called. she then decided to be the first one to call him but apparently he was busy so the conversation was short. and now she's incredibly depressed. so depressed that she's flying back home for a few weeks.

it hate to see my best friend like this but at the same time she shouldn't have gotten so emotionally involved. she should have known where she stands... or doesn't stand.

today my party girl told me that she's thinking bout dumping her long-distance boyfriend. she had just come back from a trip with him over christmas and new year and hadn't heard from him yet. so unable to stop herself any longer, she texted him. he replied saying that he had some business review. a few days passed... as well as the day of the business review... he still hadn't contacted her.

so now she's handling it the only way she knows how. she's given up bothering. she deleted his contact from her IM list. she decided not to visit him next weekend during his birthday. she said she might wish him happy birthday though... and then dump him. despite my advice to at least talk to him bout how she feels, she seems determined not to do so. i can't help feeling that perhaps she's too harsh on him. he's been great all this while, which to me means he gets some slack and the chance to explain himself or change his ways.

this made me realise again how girls get so affected by a guy's non contacting ways. i don't know if sometimes we're setting ourselves up for hurt by wanting the unavailable/uninterested guy or if we're too demanding and expect too much from the guy we like. and i've been guilty of that as well. it just makes me wonder that if it's really meant to be shouldn't it be easier? why is dating or even finding someone to date so hard?

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5 Comments:

At 4:43 PM, Blogger henhen2004 said...

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At 10:40 PM, Blogger Crashdummie said...

Uff, I know! I hate waiting for a reply. I mean even if they don't have time, if you are important they'd find a way to make time.

The problem is that ppl take each other for granted. They say love is the most important thing, but just look how we live our life. We prioritize work and set our personal life aside, we are too tired to make an effort and then we are suprised when a relationship falls apart.

Like everything else worth having, its worth fighting for.

 
At 12:19 AM, Blogger Frankly, Scarlett said...

Jo:

I'm of the school of thought that yes, it should be easy and if it feels like you're pulling him along, she probably is.

However, I also believe in working hard for and fighting for what you want.

But boys will make time for the people they want to, that has been my general experience.

 
At 2:41 AM, Blogger Heart Of Darkness said...

What a bitch!

The situation, that is...


I know too well what it feels to have feelings for someone that's engaged in another relationship. No names mentioned. It sucks. It hurts and you do things that worsen it - because you hang around, hoping he'll come around and choose you over her, and he never does...

Tell your friend that whatever's happening, and how much it hurts, she should end things with him now, while her heart is still somewhat intact. Its better to have it torn, then to get it crushed...

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger jo said...

yeah you're all right. i think people will MAKE time for the people who they think are important enough. of 'coz you should also put in effort and work and fight for what you want.

and yes, sometimes you can't quite help being attracted to someone who is already attached. but you need to stop yourself from having more than just a bit of a crush...

 

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