"right paper" & "wrong paper" guys

today is my ex-colleague's 30th birthday. and even though we haven't met up in ages, i used to be pretty close to her and still think of her fondly.

so a birthday wish turned into a somewhat extended IM conversation...

we then started catching up and i mentioned bout how i've been really busy with a number of things in my life.

close ex-colleague: so i guess no time for boys in your life?
jo: haha! well in the last few months i did try and meet up with some new guys... but so far nothing
close ex-colleague: how come?
jo: not suitable
jo: i'm beginning to think there is a problem with finding someone who is good for me and yet i find attractive enough
close ex-colleague: well girl... just keep trying... it's good to have expectations but don't over expect

yeah i know this... but like i explained to her...

jo: it's like it's either way... right on paper but no physical attraction. or not right on paper by loads of chemistry

that's when she told me as it is...

close ex-colleague: hahaha... girl... you attract those guys who fit into the "wrong paper" and obviously you enjoyed their company.. as for the "right" type, it's just another sterotype of relationship most girls want or would like to settle for
jo: yeah so obviously there's something wrong with me haha! 'coz apparently i have some weird taste in guys
close ex-colleague: it's just your preference in guys. i don't think it's weird. you like those "wrong paper" guys for who they are. but as women, we have to look for the "right paper" guys for security... conflicting interest. it happens.. and most of the time, women will settle for the "right paper" guy 'coz they fit in that. lesser on the feelings part..

then she said a profound statement...

close ex-colleague: compromise without sacrificing is the key

perhaps what's always been my biggest problem is that sometimes i'm 'idealistic'. i want him to be a "right paper" guy... and yet i want that physical attraction and chemistry that i only seem to find in "wrong paper" guys. and at the same time it's hard for me to have a relationship with a guy that i don't feel strongly for. which makes the whole compromise thing a bit of a problem.

but that said, i think when it comes down to it... if i can't get what i truly want, i would have probably "settled" (in a way) for a "right paper" guy who loves me even if i didn't love him as much.

i guess i just have to figure out when i will throw in the towel and be ready to "settle"... to compromise...