3 shots & an uncertain number of vodka cranberries

my party girl's german friend who is based in australia is in town. and last night my party girl, the yummy mommy and i brought him to cozy hole-in-the-wall bar.

the german/aussie turned out to be a really nice guy and a lot of fun to hang out with. it was supposed to be a chill out time. but somehow we wound up getting plied with a lot of drinks. after 3 shots and an uncertain number of vodka cranberries, i kinda lost touch on the drink count.

i was kinda having fun. chatting with the german/aussie as well as one of the owners of the bar. once again one of the topics was the mystery of why i'm still single. yes, i get it. big surprise. whatever. heck i'm surprised.

okay maybe not... seeing as how i really have the worst taste in men.

dj guy's ex girlfriend was there. it wasn't exactly hard to guess who she was. he behaved closer to her than any other girl i've ever seen before... well except for me perhaps. except that he wasn't behaving close to me last night (other than a lil hug and rub on the neck when he walked past behind me). and it wasn't exactly hard to see either that it seems that she's still into him. i'm not so sure if he's still into her. a part of it seems like maybe. and yet he also seemed like it was more him trying to be civil towards her.

i have to admit that it threw me off. nothing like some good healthy 'jealousy' to make you realise in dismay that once again you got sucked into that whole emotional attachment thing and actually wound up liking the guy you were making out with despite a lack of future. gosh and they wonder why i hate emotions.

before i left, i gave him the usual hug and cheek-kiss goodbye and asked quietly if he wanted to walk me out ('coz i'm bold like that). but he said that he had to do some work. well maybe 'coz his ex girlfriend and the bar manager were nearby...

i should have left it as it is... but after 3 shots and an uncertain number of vodka cranberries, my mind wasn't exactly thinking too clearly. but my phone was definitely too accessible. so i tipsy texted him...

jo: so straight up... i kinda like you... which is probably crazy... though then again i'm not always sane... anyhow just wanted you to know... take care!

i know! slap me! i woke up wanting to kill myself for my honesty. probably more so since he didn't respond. which i suppose there lies my answer. why am i not surprised?

there are only 3 courses of action now... stay away from cozy hole-in-the-wall bar, carry on and act like nothing happened or find a new guy to make out with to distract me (yes, apparently i'm the window shopper type haha!).

i feel totally sucky today... and i think it's more than just the 3 shots and an uncertain number of vodka cranberries... today is also kind of the 2-year 'anniversary' of the day that dj guy and i first met...

[edit]

and here the latest news just in... my family friend let slip that he's trying to fix up my family friend's setup with this cute girl from his office. though my family friend admits that my family friend's setup is sometimes hot and sometimes cold. ha! you think?

thanks... that's another piece of excellent news i needed to hear to complete my day. another boy i can write off. a boy that i actually really liked as well...