Monday, July 07, 2008

don't exactly have a choice

it's been over a week and i've only chatted on IM with the ad-man once. granted that's weird for me, i'm "used" to chatting with him more. and yes, i do feel disconnected from him. and admitedly i am emotionally attached. but yet strangely, i'm dealing with all this remarkably well if i may say so myself. must be all these years of practice. don't underestimate years of disappointment.

and it's not like my life has gotten any more exciting. i still continue to spend way too much of my way too much free-time watching tv online. and it's not always neccessarily outta choice. no, i don't exactly have a choice.

in our last IM conversation, the ad-man mentioned that he's been so busy with social stuff that he's feeling a lil overwhelmed. well hey, that's not a problem that most people have. in fact right bout now, that's not even looking like a problem to me. the only problem is that i so obviously have such a low priority in his social life.

my mom asked if i was going to call him. er... no. my dad suggested that i send him a card that said "thinking of you". hell no! it's scary when the parentals get this way. then again i suppose i should see it from their point of view... they are slowly watching all hopes of their daughter being coupled with the ad-man slipping away. and what bigger dread than the thought of me being left on the shelf.

but i'm just trying to give him space. especially in light with him feeling overwhelmed from social stuff (*rolls eyes*). i'm not going to "chase" him like my mom suggested, which in itself is hilarious 'coz my mom has long believed that girls shouldn't be too forward. look how desperation to marry me off has turned the tables. but i guess i just don't see the point in "chasing" him. i've done all i could without coming off as pushy or stalkerish. and i'm back to the same conclusion i've had years before... if the guy really likes you, shouldn't he try and make an effort??

so i think i don't exactly have a choice but to just give up.

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6 Comments:

At 9:22 PM, Blogger SaneAndSingle said...

Have you ever read that book "He's Just Not Into You"? Well, I learned so much (that should be common sense) from that book. I hate to say it, but he is soooo busy being social that he can't call...fuck him!

 
At 9:22 PM, Blogger SaneAndSingle said...

Have you ever read that book "He's Just Not Into You"? Well, I learned so much (that should be common sense) from that book. I hate to say it, but he is soooo busy being social that he can't call...fuck him!

 
At 11:50 PM, Anonymous ET said...

Hi Jo,

I just finished reading your blog over the weekend, and I absolutely loved it!! I was having some guy "problems" of my own last week and just reading your blog made me feel sooo much better. I think we are attracted to a similiar type of guy (my blog doesn't make a lot of sense but thats basically the jist of it:) so keep your head up because you sound awesome and so much fun that I can't believe things won't work themselves out for you!!

 
At 12:57 AM, Blogger jo said...

saneandsingle: yeah i read that book. i kinda like saying the title every now and then... "he's just not that into you". frankly i think the book didn't say anything that we girls didn't already know. we just need to be told again and again i suppose.

yeah my head tells me that a guy who is sooo busy with his social life that he can't factor me in, isn't worth my emotions. but my heart hasn't figured that out yet...

et: oh wow! i'm really flattered! and thanks so much for dropping by. well i too hope things work out for you and that guy "problems" you were having...

 
At 7:50 AM, Anonymous Ecrivain said...

Your parents sound like my parents -- it's almost like they're getting more desperate than we are (especially when they suggest something short of throwing ourselves at guys who are less than deserving of our time).

Your mom suggesting that you chase after him? That sounds like something my mom advised me not-too-long ago...and now, I think, "Seriously. Am I going to take advice from my mother?" (And she had an arranged marriage and never dated in her whole life!)

You're absolutely right! If a guy really likes you, he'd try and make an effort...I mean, after all, we've seen plenty of fools do the same thing for our friends...so why not for us? Are we no less deserving of a little chase? And if we turn the tables and do the chasing, we'd just look desperate and scare the poor guy away, anyways...and feel like shit afterwards, too!

That part where you wrote, "Don't underestimate years of disappointment" -- that's where I'm at.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger jo said...

ecrivain: what's up with parentals right? all through my growing up years, my parents were never big on the whole me finding a bf thing 'coz they were so worried that i wouldn't concentrate on school. and then now they keep asking me bout every guy i meet and practically planning a future for me and some currently non existent guy.

my mom thinks i should make my interest known. kinda like to help the guy along. which honestly is all well and good except that frankly i think that i have made my interest known... in a more subtle way rather than "chasing" the poor possibly uninterested guy. and if he's really uninterested then why on earth should i freak out the fella?

see sometimes i think maybe this arranged marriage might not necessarily be a bad thing. well at least not in it's strictest sense. afterall my good friend got married in feb after knowing the guy for 3 months. and she met him through some "matchmaking" from her mom.

what you said is so true to what i feel. that we've seen so many guys bend over backwards for our friends... so why not for us? sometimes i think i'm too nice. 'coz honestly i would feel bad and wouldn't even want the guy to bend over backwards for me. and apparently that's not a good quality??

 

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