and i still don't know

and in the current long saga with drummer boy... well yeah, i still don't know.

i made a conscious effort not to contact him at all yesterday. call it my attempt in playing it cool if you will. besides work had me fairly busy. i was the last one to leave the office on a friday night with no social plans at all, so i decided to head to the bookstore for a spot of reading in my lonesome. i hadn't heard from him all day but i figured i was going to try and hold out till he contacted me which i expected that he would 'coz we hadn't confirmed our meeting time and venue for the next day.

sure enough he texted. and i replied an hour later 'coz i had my nose buried in my book. i was not only attempting to play it cool, i was also attempting to play the game. later at night he IMed me but we didn't chat much 'coz i kept being away from my computer every now and then.

today was definitely a fun day. it was the closest we've come to being as "normal" before the whole disconnection set in. we spend an entire day at the interactive science playground just checking out the exhibits and enjoying ourselves. along the way he made a move to put his arm around me or give me some bear hugs from behind. he even backed me to a wall in a corner and kissed me swiftly.

while it was really nice and all i think it also further confused me. it seems like he does still like me and yet... i don't know... frankly i think neither one of us knows. but it was going as well as it could (by comparison) that i would have probably brought up the talk except that there just wasn't any privacy to do that.

honestly i have no idea how to act or do or say. it's confusing and i'm really confused.