Thursday, October 30, 2008

red flags

if the red flags didn't already go up for the "booty caller", they are certainly going up now...

in a recent conversation, he said that he had broken up with the other girl. i'm not sure if they were ever officially together in the first place but that doesn't matter. afterall i know all too well the grey area of a pseudo relationship and it doesn't make the hurt any less real or painful.

so naturally i asked what happened and he said it was a long story and didn't go into details (which is fine really 'coz i mean whatever right?) but he did say that she asked him bout money. specifically why he still didn't have any money despite working for that long.

now i know that money is one of those big issues in relationships. i don't know what his finances are but i must admit that having the other girl ask bout it makes me wonder. i mean i'm not exactly making a mint but i like to think that generally i've got quite a good saving system going on. and i would like my guy to be financially stable as well.

but beyond all that, i was kinda amused that he asked me if i was free tonight 'coz he really wanted some "beach company and a good kiss".

i mean seriously? dude you just broke up like 2 seconds ago?

and better yet, when i gave him my reason for heading home as 'coz i had been sick enough to take a sick day off the day before and i wanted to rest, he didn't even think to ask me how i was feeling until much later. which just shows his general lack of concern. couple that with his apparent only concern being his pleasure, i'm seeing red flags galore.

and all this even before any face to face meeting...

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8 Comments:

At 7:18 PM, OpenID nevergoingbackagain said...

guard your heart Jo. Although these are all red flags...just let time do the work. You may be comin in during this awkward time but you all may hit it off. One lesson I've learned in all of this dating game and now having a boyfriend is things I would have normally called "deal breakers" are what I've fallen in love with.

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger jo said...

nevergoingbackagain: okay now you've got me a lil confused... are you encouraging me with the "booty caller" or are you telling me to run for the hills? or maybe it's just that only time will tell...

well i acknowledge that perhaps this is just a weird awkward time and i guess i might still be willing to meet up with him face to face just to see what may or may not happen. and if nothing, it will at least be an interesting story haha!

so i'm curious though... what "deal breakers" did you wind up falling in love with?

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger Scotty said...

money is one of those big issues in relationships
Totally agree.

 
At 10:59 PM, OpenID nevergoingbackagain said...

jo : i know my comment could have been a bit confusing. i'd say guard your heart, give this guy a chance but keep yourself grounded and see what happens. i've come to the conclusion that life isn't worth living if you don't go out on risks.

now for my deal breakers, they aren't anything life or death but they are things that in the past i made decisions based on...

S.C. is only about 4 inches taller than me, he has blonde hair and is not a "large" guy. My "type" is tall, dark hair and bigger guys.

We have completely opposite political views....he listens to hard core screaming in the microphone music where i listen to billy joel and van morrison.

He has a completely different background than I do (broken home, abusive step father, etc and he does not come from a wealthy or well off family). My parents were married for 25 years, I have a stable and wonderful childhood and I grew up living comfortably.

But at the end of the day none of these things matter. I love him and he loves me and he makes me feel confident and safe. :)

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger jo said...

nevergoingbackagain: you know i can't help but feel like when you talked bout your supposed "deal breakers" with S.C., it's kinda the same for me and drummer boy.

drummer boy is a "large" guy who isn't really athletic and my "type" is generally toned and athletic. he and i have different political views as well. he listens to metal while i'm all bout mainstream rock. i'm a christian regular church going girl while he's a catholic boy gone wrong.

yeah sometimes love is tricky and kinda just hits you no matter the apparent differences...

 
At 7:29 AM, Blogger Katya said...

Hmm, money does seem a pretty big issue, not something that is so easy to compromise on and something that has to be dealt with regularly. That said it sounds like you don't know the full details of the money thing so might be worth meeting him, finding out some more and seeing what happens.

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger jo said...

katya: yeah you're right. i don't know the full details of the money issue and frankly it's still too early to say. but i don't think that is what is "stopping" me. i think it's maybe all the other lil things that seem to like lil red flags popping up that "stops" me. that said, i have a feeling that i might meet him eventually anyway...

 
At 12:12 AM, Blogger SaneAndSingle said...

Ugh...leave him alone!

 

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