i tried but apparently that didn't work

so okay this dating detox thing isn't quite working out.

basically 'coz the alpha game player has kinda said that we're dating. we've certainly talked bout the possibility of becoming a couple. but that said, we're both scared to be in a relationship and hence we're not a couple.

i'm not sure how i feel bout it all. frankly it all kinda took me by surprise. i mean we're going dutch, we're almost polar opposites, i thought we were just friends. admittedly a part of me does kinda like him. i suppose it's hard not to when he makes his presence known in my life by constantly keeping in touch. which is more than i can say bout the swedish guy.

it's been 3 weeks. 3 freaking weeks! and he has still yet to contact me. nary a call or text or IM, not that he usually does any of that anyway. i guess it couldn't be any clearer bout how he's just not that into me.

problem is 'coz a part of me is still into him. if all things withstanding and the swedish guy was showing me as much attention as the alpha game player, i probably would have picked the swedish guy. but life doesn't usually work out that way does it?

but since apparently the dating detox is kinda off and while i may be apparently kinda dating the alpha game player, we're not officially together, i'm wondering if i should be allowed to say yes to other dates. no actual asking has been done but a recent text conversation had this guy asking if i was still taking time out and had me saying that i think i might have abandoned it... and of 'coz i'm still struggling with wanting to just contact the swedish guy... he's been on/off away practically every weekend like he usually is.

maybe i should just stick with working for what i possibly could get instead of reaching for the unattainable...