something new

i'm a pretty avid reader, almost nothing makes me happier or more excited than finding a new book that i really want to read. while i love my usual genre of books, i also like to try new things and new genres.

one of the topics that the swedish guy and i have always discussed were books. right when we first "started" even till now when we're not exactly in contact and yet not exactly totally out of contact either.

months ago we talked bout meeting up and months later, recently, he texted me out of the blue. this time we actually locked down a day to meet where the intention was for him to pass me a book he recommended written by last year's nobel prize winner in literature.

i admit i was a lil nervous bout meeting him. it's been so long. what happens if it's just awkward?

and frankly, initially it was. until we got into our usual swing of things. then it was full on laughs and joking where i remembered and admired that amazing zest of life that he has. we went from dinner to drinks (at a quaint pub dubbed as the oldest english bar which i've been before but forgot all bout), chatting the whole way through bout books, travelling, new places local and overseas to go, movies and work. through it all, i tried new things, such as a restaurant i meant to go to (he had planned to bring me to another one but it happened to be closed so we just rolled with it and headed somewhere else nearby) and a few different beers (some of which i really liked).

i had a fabulous time. i came back home feeling energised and alive.

i've been thinking more again bout my current relationship. there are very good traits that the alpha boy possess, the most important being that he really does love me and truthfully i do love him too, but i'm wondering if it's enough.

i realise that what's lacking is mental stimulation, excitement, that zest for life. all of which i get outside when i'm with my other friends. which is probably why i relish my time with them, away from the alpha boy where topics of conversation involve more than just talking bout how tough work is, where i learn bout different things and get to try different things. i understand why the alpha boy isn't all those things but i still can't help but find him leaning towards the side of being too anti social / awkward in social situations, not being open enough and not exposed enough to life and other things out there for my liking. even my parents (who don't dislike the alpha boy per se) admit that they think i could do better.

but i don't know. isn't the whole idea supposed to be to find someone who actually truly loves you?