Wednesday, August 31, 2011

something new

i'm a pretty avid reader, almost nothing makes me happier or more excited than finding a new book that i really want to read. while i love my usual genre of books, i also like to try new things and new genres.

one of the topics that the swedish guy and i have always discussed were books. right when we first "started" even till now when we're not exactly in contact and yet not exactly totally out of contact either.

months ago we talked bout meeting up and months later, recently, he texted me out of the blue. this time we actually locked down a day to meet where the intention was for him to pass me a book he recommended written by last year's nobel prize winner in literature.

i admit i was a lil nervous bout meeting him. it's been so long. what happens if it's just awkward?

and frankly, initially it was. until we got into our usual swing of things. then it was full on laughs and joking where i remembered and admired that amazing zest of life that he has. we went from dinner to drinks (at a quaint pub dubbed as the oldest english bar which i've been before but forgot all bout), chatting the whole way through bout books, travelling, new places local and overseas to go, movies and work. through it all, i tried new things, such as a restaurant i meant to go to (he had planned to bring me to another one but it happened to be closed so we just rolled with it and headed somewhere else nearby) and a few different beers (some of which i really liked).

i had a fabulous time. i came back home feeling energised and alive.

i've been thinking more again bout my current relationship. there are very good traits that the alpha boy possess, the most important being that he really does love me and truthfully i do love him too, but i'm wondering if it's enough.

i realise that what's lacking is mental stimulation, excitement, that zest for life. all of which i get outside when i'm with my other friends. which is probably why i relish my time with them, away from the alpha boy where topics of conversation involve more than just talking bout how tough work is, where i learn bout different things and get to try different things. i understand why the alpha boy isn't all those things but i still can't help but find him leaning towards the side of being too anti social / awkward in social situations, not being open enough and not exposed enough to life and other things out there for my liking. even my parents (who don't dislike the alpha boy per se) admit that they think i could do better.

but i don't know. isn't the whole idea supposed to be to find someone who actually truly loves you?

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5 Comments:

At 6:46 PM, Blogger Soph said...

Ohh this is another tough one! Yes, on one hand the most important thing is to find someone that truly loves you for you but on the other hand, you still need to be happy, be exicting, enjoy the same hobbies and good friends that have fun! But having both is hard to find. Saying that there is different kinds of love, like love for a brother or friend rather then a partner.

More bloggy love to you : )

 
At 12:35 AM, Blogger Hana said...

It does sound tricky. One question you could ask yourself might be: are are any more exciting, stimulating people out there that are interested in you, and vice versa?

Another question is if you need that excitement and stimulation from a romantic relationship, or whether you can get that from your friends? As long as the alpha boy doesn't mind that you have a life outside of him, maybe you can have the best of both words - someone at home who loves you, and exciting people to meet when you're away from him.

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger jo said...

soph: thanks for your bloggy love as always :) having the best of both worlds really is hard to find. how do people find it? or do they just not?

hana: excellent questions indeed! i can't think of any more exciting, stimulating people out there who are interested in me, at least not as much as the alpha boy is. i guess i'm trying to answer the question if i need that excitement and stimulation from a romantic relationship. i do have a very active social life and for the most part the alpha boy doesn't really mind i engage in all of that without him. i'm not sure if that's necessary too healthy? but that's just the way it's been.

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger D said...

Love is important but I've never believed that it's enough. You need that zest and that passion. Go after it. Demand it. And don't settle for anything less.

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger Soph said...

I have given you a award on my blog : )

 

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