Wednesday, August 17, 2011

third time's a charm?

after the third year in a row, i'm starting to think that birthdays with the alpha boy are set up to be a disappointment.

it's not that we don't celebrate at all, 'coz thank goodness we do or else i'd be a heck of a lot more pissed off, but my beef is that when my actual birthday comes round, it's like any other day, nothing happens.

from having to ask for a proper kiss in 2009, to no plans and going dutch in 2010, to this year, yesterday in fact... where there was once again no plan, no flowers and omg no gift.

his excuse? "you do know that i'm busy right?", were his exact words that incidentally he's been using way too much. of which i'm beginning to increasingly not appreciate it as it just sounds condescending.

by saturday he still didn't know what to get and so i essentially just told him what he could get. okay so he came over to my place on sunday, but then there was monday where he went out with his friends for a movie and then there was tuesday, the actual day, where he essentially walked past the shop while on the way to meet me. i asked for a perfume, he could have got that freaking anywhere.

and then there were the promises of flowers delivered to my office which weren't met. he might as well not have told me at all. 'coz wow, it's as though florists don't do deliveries, deliveries that you can actually call up to order days prior. 'coz you never know, you might wind up to be busy on the actual day right?

there are just all these things. and others such as prior conversations on engagement rings where he seemed almost outraged and surprised that they would cost that much and people would even pay that much. the amount he wanted to pay was the amount my dad paid for my mom's engagement ring over 33 years ago. think bout the inflation since. and i'm not even a diamond kinda girl, the only one thing i would have asked for was a proper engagement ring 'coz i'm also not the girl who needs to get married immediately. i can definitely wait. i don't have a biological clock, i still want to focus on my career, i feel like marriage would bring bout too much responsibilities that i'm not prepared to handle for at least the next few years.

and then there are the conversations which we have, if you can even call it that. where 95% of the time we (or rather he) talks bout how he needs to do better at work. i get it, his work is stressful and he's trying. i value that. but sometimes i wanna talk bout something else. and not have him change the topic to something else when i start a topic. that's not a conversation and i've mentioned to him before. i want that effortless conversation where it just flows. the way it does with "wayne rooney", the way it did with the swedish guy. it's not to say that i don't have perfectly lovely conversations with him, it's just that it's few and far between.

all these just surfaced last night as i was talking to my mom.

but yet the alpha boy isn't all that bad. i know he loves me. and occasionally he does remember certain things i've said...

which is why today i got a call from him asking me out for lunch and with him appearing with 8 long stemmed red roses (albeit wrapped in a plastic bag because it was literally bought from a market due to a lack of florists around the area) and my present.

okay i'm letting him out of the doghouse.



At 7:14 PM, Blogger Soph said...

Ohhhh Jo, well first things first I am giving you a big hug and kiss because you deserve it!!

I would be SO mad too!!! That is really poor attempt on his part and he could try much harder! I don't want to say too much but I feel like you deserve better then that and he needs to pull his socks up BIG TIME!

When it is his birthday do the same and then he will know how it feels.

All this said out of bloggy love x

At 10:54 AM, Blogger jo said...

soph: aww thanks hun. hugs and kisses back to you too for the bloggy love.

yeah everyone who heard my story (and i wasn't purposely trying to air my dirty laundry so to speak but it's kinda hard to avoid speaking bout it when everyone who saw my roses on the wrong day would have asked what was that bout) agreed that it was a pretty darn lousy and shocking thing to even do. some even felt that i let him outta the doghouse too easily 'coz they really were market roses, the kinds with long stems and leaves intact. no pretty garnishing at all. but then again i knew he tried hard to search. he really should have just picked up the phone and dialed a florist to deliver. i like to think that he's learnt his lesson and will just do that in future.

precisely, i too think i derseve more than that. i'm one of the most chilled out girlfriends ever. i'm not materialistic and i don't even ask for much. but sometimes there still needs to be some effort involved, some sincereity and i think he's so wound up at work that he takes all that for granted.

the thing with boys is that they don't much care when it's their birthday. you can do nothing at all and it's fine. and admittedly i was based away for work during his last birthday (as i will also be during his upcoming birthday later this year)'coz of my particular work schedule. but i always give him his present and card before i leave which is essentially a month before his birthday and i actually tried to arrange for a cake to be delivered to his place but it proved to be a logistical nightmare since he's hardly in the office and no one is usually at home. oh well. i still call despite easily working 17 hour days.

At 11:02 AM, Blogger J said...

Birthdays are so much pressure. I feel like it is the responsibility of the relationship partner to make the other person feel super special and loved! It's not too much to ask for to want to feel special on your bday. But, I'm glad he realized his error and tried to rectify it :)

At 3:30 AM, Blogger Lifebeginsat30ty said...

That sucks! You know what you could be too busy to do? Talk to him. Oh yeah, and return phone calls. Or even show up at his. Or better yet, 'forget' he was coming over and not be there! Yay! That boy is taking you for granted and I agree you let him off too easy. It's your relationship but he needs to realize that work isn't everything. Grr, I'm just upset on your behalf. I'm mentally smacking him upside the head for you ;P

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