commitment phobic

i was just reading vixen's blog and came across her review on elina furman's book "the single, picky and indecisive girl's guide to overcoming her fear of commitment".

now i've always thought that i was partially commitment phobic though i never could actually understand why. so i found myself wanting to read this book. but since i can't quite just run out right now to get my hands on it, i thought taking the commitment phobe online test on her website would help give me some insight.

the results said that i was commitment-minded. obsessed even.

that doesn't help me.

but just 'coz i don't change my clothes by the hour, can hold down a stable job for a few years, have parentals who are ridiculously in love and am a true-blue non cheating type, doesn't mean i don't still feel absolutely hesitant to commit right?

so what is it?

i admit that i have standards. not entirely unreachable standards, but standards none the less. does that make me the nitpicker?

i would much rather be free to keep my options open than be in a relationship with someone i wasn't sure bout. does that make me the free spirit?

when i realise that i'm starting to like a person and i'm not sure how he feels, i have this tendency to wanna run for the hills and find someone new to help me forget him (which btw doesn't always work). or if i know someone likes me and i'm not sure how i feel, i much rather keep it at a casual status quo than have any form of dtr (defining the relationship). does that make me the long distance runner?

maybe the problem is simply just that i haven't found the right person that i have strong feelings for who feels the same for me too. perhaps if i did, i would be willing to commit...