an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other

waay back in the days when i actually thought that prick04 was a nice guy trying his best to pursue me, i had actually wondered that between someone and prick04, who would i choose. of 'coz back then it was probably already silly since someone never expressed any real interest even though truth be told i always preferred him to prick04. of 'coz now i know that prick04 is a real prick and wouldn't choose him even if he were the last person on earth. but i remember back then thinking bout how someone was like an angel on my shoulder while prick04 was like a devil on the other shoulder. someone always managed to inspire me to be a better person. whereas prick04 always seemed to bring out the 'bad girl' side of me.

forward to now... and i find myself in yet another similar situation...

recently i've been talking to two 21 year old guys. i have no idea why i'm suddenly meeting and getting along with these young ones. shy colleague and i have been steadily talking via work IM for practically the entire time we're at work. sure we still do our work effectively, but that's still a whole lotta conversation. the youngest one and i don't talk as much but we still have our fair share of IMs, texts and late night phone conversations (after we make out for an entire night that is).

but these two 21 year olds couldn't be more different.

shy colleague is a real nice guy. shy and innocent though wacky at times. someone surprisingly mature and level-headed who i can have pretty deep conversations with and shares similar views as i do. he flatters me and somehow makes me feel secure, as though i have the 'upper hand'.

the youngest one however is a bad boy biker type. a nocturnal person who likes to sleep from 7am to 7pm and hangs out with his friends in the middle of the night. he's experienced and almost cocky though occasionally showcases a certain 'never quite grew up' quality that's kinda endearing. he kinda gives me a run for my money 'coz i never quite know what he's thinking. he's asked me out twice but both times cancelled out on me 'coz he was too tired. he's told me twice that he likes me and thinks i'm pretty, but he had been drinking then and besides that was before we even kissed. does kissing change things? does it mean anything more that he keeps kissing me? i think he knows the effect his kisses have on me. 'coz most dangerous of all he possesses great making out abilities and makes me realise why some people might choose to have friends with benefits.

an angel. and a devil.

not that either of 'em are actively pursuing me. and not that i'm even really considering either of 'em. but this time, it might be different... i have a feeling that if it would have come down to it, i would have picked the youngest one. 'coz somehow that draw is just too strong... it's like this raw primal need...

i suppose girls always like a lil bad boy in their guys...

then again if it were between someone and the youngest one. someone would win hands down. no contest.

which probably proves that while girls like the bad boys, what we really want is the good guy.

or maybe the fact that i would even think it were to be between someone and the youngest one could mean that i just like and want someone i can't have.