in full swing

sometimes i wonder what's wrong with me. occasionally i lament bout the single life but then other times it seems like i enjoy it... maybe too much...

on sunday i met up with the guy based in missouri. we didn't do a whole lot more besides have dinner and walk around while chatting. it was a good time per usual. but i also knew that things were a lil different. maybe 'coz he was leaving the next day. basically he has asked me to move to missouri. he said that if i wanted to find a job there, he could try and help me... and if not, he asked me to come and visit him when i was done with school at the end of the year and offered to help me with part of my airfare.

it's all a bit crazy... he admitted that he initially wanted to extend his trip to spend more time with me 'coz he missed me but then his female friend persuaded him not to 'coz she said that it would make me more confused. he also told me that he didn't expect to meet someone like me and that i swept him off his feet with my personality. and that he thinks i'm hot. though he never said anything bout us being anything more, he did joke that i should meet his friend and his gf and then he can tell his friend that he wants me to be his gf but i don't wanna.

so what do i feel bout all of this? he was concerned that i would freak out. i think everything is happening a lil too fast. i mean i can't believe that we've only known each other for bout 2 weeks and that in the last week we met up 3 times. that said, it could be the whole him going back to missouri thing that made things faster in that sense. i guess we're back to the same conclusion... that for now we're gonna be friends... the distance thing isn't really allowing me to think that much i think.

my best friend thinks i'm a lil crazy. she said that it seems like i've found my man... a pretty cool guy which i connect with has fallen at my feet. and then i freak.

but have i? have i found my man? maybe it's still too early to tell if i really like like him. perhaps if it wasn't long distance at least i would have had a longer time to hang out with him and maybe get used to the idea or something. then again in a way i'm almost glad that he's long distance so that at least it lets me stop to think for a while.

i just can't help wondering if this is my commitment phobia kicking in full swing.

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yesterday i met up with chatty triathlete. it may seem like he's turning into a friend that i feel quite comfy talking to. but i'm not so sure if friendship is exactly what he has in mind. at least not from the light touches of my neck, hair and arm.

so far it's still rather platonic... he hasn't laid any cards on the table and i also hinted that i think multidating is acceptable when there is no commitment. but i do enjoy his company and he's quick becoming my "fitness trainer".

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and yet all i can think of is wanting to make out with dj guy...