this is where we've been and look where we're going

it's amazing how time flies. this blog has been home to my thoughts on dating and relationships for the last 4 over years. and it's grown to become a special and important part of my life which i hide from everyone else in my "real" life.

recently i've been reading through my past entries, looking back on where i've been, how far i've come and it's been an interesting walk down memory lane. some random guys i could hardly remember, others who i wondered what on earth came over me to be so smitten with them, and a few that back then took a shine to me.

but i suppose for the most part, there's no real loss. the guys themselves have moved on. most vanished completely from my life, a select few who i still "keep in touch" with (or at least i still could if either of us wanted to) as technically they are still on my IM or online social utility site friend list, and some others who i make a point to know what's going on in their lives even if they don't always know it (yes, i "stalk" haha!).

it was in mid-walk of this memory lane that i decided to try and hunt down past people that i "dated" randomly, basically the boys that i've mentioned here in the last 4 years. some of them i already pretty much knew where they were at now but others weren't on my friends list (and even after hunting them down, i still wasn't intending to add them) and i thought it would be interesting to try and see if i could even find any information on them.

and here are the results of my find:

dj guy - i may not have seen or talked to him in at least over a year and even back then he was already engaged. but from my own nosy sleuthing i know that he's since broken up with his fiancee and has a new girlfriend.

london guy friend - he's on my friends list which have led me to find out that his (i think) german girlfriend gave birth to their son in february. they got married a month later. seems like the wedding must have been quite a surprise to even his friends.

texas curly - based on our last email "communication" in january, he told me that he got married in april 2008. he's also since started a tailor shop making custom made suits. a lil research (it's not really considered snooping if he gave me his company name to begin with haha!) showed that he came in second place in a new entrepreneur of the year award and made me even more impressed. i also found him on the online social utility site and couldn't see much other than his profile pic of a fun picture with him and his gorgeous wife. did i mention that she's gorgeous? i thought for a very long time (and trust me, i really did) and in the end decided to add him to my friends list... and hope he never really wonders how on earth i found him online...

marvy's setup - i found him on the online social utility site and couldn't see much other than his profile pic. he's looking good though (to be fair, he always looked better in pictures than in real life) and also looks like he's happily attached / married. i'm not sure if she's the "love of his life" from china that he met right after he got set up with me.

(now ex) key account executive - i keep in touch with him on IM every now and then when he signs in. bout a couple of years ago he had a kid but is still continuing to battle marital woes.

the aussie podiatrist - i couldn't find him on the online social utility site and for some reason, i was determined enough to dig up something that i googled him. i didn't realise that he's been responsible for giving the expert's opinion on certain podiatry related press releases. i found out that his (now not so) new workplace is actually rather close to mine. there was also a picture of him. he's not looking as good as before... i think he's balding.

family friend's setup - i'm still in contact with the friend who set us up and very occasionally i drop an IM to say hey to my family friend's setup (in fact just after writing bout him, i dropped him another IM). but from our friend, i found out that he has a slightly on/off girlfriend. our friend doesn't even know what's going on. sometimes it's good, then it's off, then it's on again. apparently she's a great girl though.

the french banterer - i found him on the online social utility site and was surprised that we have 2 mutual friends (though i only really consider one of those girls my friends. i'm pretty sure he knows her through work.) i browsed through a few of his photos. somehow he looks different or maybe i just can't recognise him anymore. i'm unsure bout his relationship status though.

poet guy - i found him on the online social utility site and was surprised that we have a mutual friend... incidentally it was my uni classmate that i "dated" who since got married to our uni classmate. i couldn't see much other than his profile pic but he looks like he's happily attached / married.

chatty triathlete - i found him on the online social utility site, and as expected, we have a mutual friend in the form of my friend's (who was formerly based in dubai who subsequently became my colleague) husband. and as i heard, i saw evidence in photos that he got married in dec 2009, a year after he got together with her. he doesn't look too bad but i'm still definitely way cuter than her.

the serious one - not that he's important but i've been running into him recently near wherer i work in town. in any case, he's on my friend's list and it was there that i learnt that he's engaged. i think she works near my workplace.

drummer boy - the only one who i'm actually quite in touch with over IM. and well i already mentioned that he's thinking of getting married in 3-5 years time.

the swedish guy - the last time i saw him was in december 2009. that said, i do think bout him every now and then. he's on my friends list and ever so often i'd see a status update stating that he was off to another one of his short holidays. i still think that's the main reason why we didn't get more serious. he claimed that he was ready for a girlfriend, but his lifestyle showed otherwise.

i guess the main theme is that almost everyone that i "dated" in the last 4 years is now coupled up be it married, engaged or just attached. it's good to know that i didn't remain completely single either.

this has definitely been one very interesting nostalgic walk.

the non discerning approach to online dating "experiment"

over a month ago i introduced a good friend of mine to the "joys" of online dating and yesterday she texted me a lil "frantic" if she should add a new guy on IM. i had been avoiding the online dating site partly 'coz i started to feel like i had just bout exhausted all online potentials and couldn't really be bothered with most others. and yet i acknowledged that i really needed to get back into the dating game, not that i'm even sure if i've ever been in it to begin with. i guess all that talk with her kinda motivated me to get out there or whatever cliche statement.

so i logged back into the online dating site. and this time i decided not to be so discerning. for the first time ever, i winked at so many guys. i decided not to approach this wondering if i could possibly see a future with the guy. for now i simply settled for someone that i found reasonably interesting enough to possibly get to know a lil better. and so i winked and winked. i thought i was going to utilise all the winks i would get (if there is even a limit to winks).

i don't know if anything is going to come outta this "experiment". and to be honest, even if none of 'em tried to contact me back (though one guy already added me on IM and we had a very brief conversation), i wouldn't really be too bothered 'coz i wasn't particularly interested in any particular guy. this is just me really trying not to think bout it too much and just putting myself out there.

maybe i'd get some dates outta this. i could sure do with getting back into "serial dating". if nothing else, i could sure do with some new guys to help me distract and delude myself into thinking that the ad-man doesn't mean as much to me as he does. i have to distract and delude myself. afterall, when i logged into the online dating site, i realised that he had just logged in an hour ago.

****

last night i met up with a friend for dinner. incidentally she is the same friend whose husband belongs to the same triathlon team as chatty triathlete.

in our lil catch up session, she mentioned that recently she and her husband ran into chatty triathlete in a bike shop and in their brief conversation, he said this...

chatty triathlete: the cost of a bike is on her finger

my friend took it to mean that chatty triathlete is engaged to his girlfriend or fiancee or whatever.

wow! i mean... wow! he really wasn't kidding when he told me that they were discussing marriage even though back then they had only been together for a month. so now 6 months down the road and she has a rock, the cost of a bicycle (and chatty triathlete likes 'em high end high performance road bikes), on her finger.

i'm sure my mom will say that it could have been me. i don't think it could have. we couldn't have worked out. but it sure doesn't help in not making me feel like there's something wrong with me that guys seem to decide to pass on.

upside / downside

over the weekend, i went to the church that chatty triathlete attends and expectedly ran into him and his girlfriend.

"hey jo, let me introduce you to my girlfriend", he said gesturing to the woman standing next to him.

"hi, i'm jo. pleased to meet you", i said as i offered my hand.

she shook my hand and smiled, "hi."

okay so what was her name?? is she just known as chatty triathlete's girlfriend?

i've seen her before with him in the church. i mean i obviously checked her out when i knew that she's chatty triathlete's girlfriend. but i've never been formally introduced to her before. and maybe i still haven't, given that i didn't actually get her name. but that said she does seem nice enough.

so upside... i'm cuter than she is.

downside... i'm cuter than she is.

i rest my case.

not quite 27 dresses just yet

last night my best friend's sister, her boyfriend and i went to watch 27 dresses. i was excited to watch it. i knew it would be just the kind of movie i would enjoy. and i did.

the movie got to me. when katherine hiegl's character talked bout how her favorite part of a wedding is when the bride walks in and how she likes to look at the groom, i could so relate 'coz that's always been my favorite part of a wedding too. seeing the look on the groom's face as he is so happy and in love. and i can imagine that when i do walk down that isle, i'll see my husband-to-be's face just like that. yes, i'm a bit of a sap like that.

i thought that james marsden's character was so sweet and proactive. i found myself wishing that i could meet a guy just like that. and if he looked just like that, that would be a bonus too (afterall when i first saw james marsden act in the tv series second noah over 10 year ago, i deemed that he was the perfect guy). i even like the whole play-fighting thing too.

but strangest of all, this movie made me feel sad and hopeful all at the same time...

maybe i need to help some friends plan their weddings. some 27 friends to be exact. well so far i've only been part of the bridal entourage 3 times. looks like i have a way more to go before meeting that awesome guy who will pick up my lost filofax (nevermind that i don't even have one... ooh maybe i should start keeping one...) and pencil his name in for an appointment with me every saturday. give me flowers, change my ringtone to "our song" and turn up at places where i'm expected to be. in fact he just might be like a creepy stalker type if he weren't as sweet and cute. i think i need a weird 'hobby' to make him intrigued. or do you reckon just being undeniably quirky is enough?

****

tonight i met up with chatty triathlete. it must have been one of the quickest meeting ups i've ever had... ever. we were done with dinner, returned each other's stuff and did a lil checking out of a sports store all in less than an hour flat.

so bout his new girlfriend... apparently she's nothing like me. she's 3 years older than him (i am 2 years younger than him), loves shopping and isn't the athletic type. but oh well something somehow must fit with him. 'coz they are talking bout marriage.

it's crazy. when did people suddenly skip right past the whole dating stage and went straight into discussing marriage after a month of being together? or is it 'coz we're all at the age where if you know (or at least think you have a pretty good idea) that this person is right for you, then there's no point in having a long courtship. might as well just get to it already.

thanks. way to go to put the pressure on a very single girl who hasn't had a date in months and can't even seem to find someone she likes who treats her right.

****

so after a really busy time at work recently and chatty triathlete leaving me at 7.30pm to head home to call his girlfriend (yes, i'm bout to puke from all that mush), i wasn't in the mood to head home just yet.

in the end, my not-so-platonic ex-friend asked me to join him and his colleague for some beers. i needed that. but i also wasn't looking to have a late night since i knew that work wasn't going to get any less busy and i needed to be fully functioning. but despite that, leaving at 9.30pm wasn't exactly what i had in mind either.

i guess it was somewhat fun. as usual my not-so-platonic ex-friend was winding me up a lil. and then he left me which reminded me again of why he's so wrong. not that i ever wanted to really go there anyway...

honestly my emotions are just all over the place. and i'm just struggling. damn, i just need something to work out in my life...

the power of passion

last night was the usual friday girls night out. we bar/club hopped a lil. it was fun as usual. though gosh i just kept seeing couples making out around me. it was really hard not to miss those times... and not to want a good make out session myself.

we were intending to head into the club dj guy now works in... i had hoped that we would... but then my party girl commented that it was pretty empty so we decided to head to another club which i haven't gone in at least half a year. it used to be one of our usual stops to end off the night. but since dj guy and i started on our making out sessions, i haven't been there 'coz i let my party girl and the yummy mommy go on without me while i made cozy hole-in-the-wall bar my last (and only) stop for the night.

it's a pity that i didn't get to see dj guy... i wanted to have give myself a chance to act normal with him again...

****

this evening my best friend long distance called me. she had just finished having tea with some friends and the topic of the guy she used to like came up and she suddenly felt herself missing him. this was the guy she was with despite him having a girlfriend. the guy who she felt a lot for and did a lot for.

so in our conversation we talked bout chemistry. my best friend admitted that while she is happy with her current boyfriend, she did miss that raw animalistic chemistry that she had with the other guy. i totally understand what she means.

jo's best friend: i want the slam you against the wall type haha!
jo: hahaha! so do i... and i want to slam him against the wall too!

all this just reminded me of how much i miss dj guy. he was so perfect for me in those ways. sometimes i wonder if i lost my one true chance at that kind of passsion. i think that maybe you can grow to love a person... and you can even grow to be more attracted to a person... but with passion, it's either there from the start or not. maybe we all 'settle' in that sense... 'coz there is no one perfect person. and ultimately a lot of people do sacrifice passion for stability.

but will i? i think at the very end of the day, if the person i have passion for isn't a "right paper" guy, i think i just might sacrifice passion for stability.

and strangely that makes me sad...

****

i've been thinking a lot... and i think with dj guy, i just got scared. it's funny 'coz i think he and i felt exactly the same thing. we weren't ready in that sense for anything more. yet we couldn't help but feel that much. and we both just got scared of our emotions.

i liked him too much... more than i even dared to admit to myself. and when i start to realise that i'm liking someone too much and it doesn't seem like it's going to work out, i freak out. i try and stop it somehow. be it trying to convince myself that i don't feel that much or trying to find someone new to help me stop liking that person so much.

i'm just really bad with emotions and i try to avoid my feelings. ultimately i'm just really scared to get hurt. which i suppose is ironic in that sense... since i ended up not only hurting him but also hurting myself...

****

in other news, the chatty triathlete texted me to let me know that he's attached.

he's been attached for a month and she is a new member of his church cell group. it was never going to work out with us anyway. and recently i had suspected that he must have found someone else 'coz he had stopped contacting me. but despite all that, actually hearing him say (or texting) that he was attached kinda stabbed me a lil.

perhaps i'm just envious. i want what he has. happiness with someone. and for things to just work out so quickly.

but honestly i am happy for him. and i hope that we can still remain friends. even though our impending meeting up next week seems so much like a break up where we return each other their stuff...

such is life...

on thursday i met up with chatty triathlete. 'coz of our busy schedules, we could only meet up for a relatively short dinner. but in a way i was glad. i'm beginning to find it stressful that he keeps contacting me or wanting to chat. and i'm trying to find a way to slowly distance myself while not telling him outright. yes, i know i'm a wuss like that. but i'm just not good with this kinda stuff. i like him as a friend. but i really don't think we would be anything more. i find his personality kinda flat. and besides triathlons, we kinda don't really have all that much in common.

so i guess it was kinda evil of me to pretend that i was gonna be busy and home late tonight when he texted if he could call me up for a chat... then again it didn't really stop him from asking me to join him 2 saturdays from now to a sports sale...

friday night it was the usual with my party girl and the yummy mommy in cozy hole-in-the-wall bar. it started out a lil strange 'coz the bartender aka dj guy was more sullen and unfriendly than usual. i didn't even get a hello hug and cheek-kiss. turns out he was just recovering from a bout of flu... and having to work despite it... later he got friendlier and we managed to have a bit of a chat. he even put his arm around me, kissed me on the lips a few times and said that he missed me.

when i left, i didn't get the proper kiss that i've almost become accustomed to. and no way was i gonna miss out on it again like i did last friday. so once again i decided to throw caution to the wind and called him.

jo: get outta there
dj guy: okay

for some reason i'm uncharacteristically bold when it comes to him. or maybe that's what happens when i've been almost consistently making out with him weekly for bout a month.

he met me outside the bar and we made out a lil. this time it was rather sweet. but he had to go back 'coz he was halfway making a drink.

it's just weird. i mean he hasn't even asked me out proper. but despite that, he's somewhat willing to show me a lil more affection than he does with other girls. i mean he does the huggy cheek-kiss with other girls. and it doesn't bother me since i do the same with other guys. but i've never seen him voluntarily just put his arm around another girl before. not that it matters right? 'coz it's not like he's asking me out proper.

such is life right? the person you're not too interested in comes on pretty strong. while the one who you want to do something, doesn't.

a 'them' update

sometimes my best friend's email cracks me up...

jo's best friend: how are things with you and erm... them?

indeed... how are things with... erm... them?

well... the guy based in missouri and i are still pretty actively chatting on IM. in fact he's asked me again to move there or visit him.

chatty triathlete has been calling me pretty frequently. he likes to chat on the phone. and he also makes it clear that he wants to meet up with me pretty often as well. i'm probably evil for saying this but sometimes i wished he wasn't so into me 'coz it's a lil stressful and overwhelming. i guess you just can't win.

during my recent vacation, i met up with my bodybuilder friend who i got to know via an online networking site. he's from here but is studying over there. anyhow we got along pretty well face to face. there was always something interesting to talk bout. but i'm beginning to realise that it's really different via IM. it's funny 'coz we first started chatting on IM. but lately i feel like it's just all him being suggestive which gets real boring real fast. he's interested in me... or at least in sorta hooking up with me... given all the suggestions of massages in hotel rooms and spanking my nice ass... but i'm starting to actually recoil from the idea of meeting up with him again when he's back for a holiday next month... i mean i have zero attraction to him and really just wanna stay platonic friends and stay away from the suggestive stuff..

my family friend's setup seemed to have pretty much disappeared from the face of earth. okay well he hasn't really. i mean i still see him online. and once in a while i actually do start up an IM conversation with him. but so far it hasn't been all that engaging. it's such a pity... he had such possible potential...

as for the guy who's been occupying most of my mind... well no new developments with dj guy... then again i haven't been to cozy hole-in-the-wall bar yet...

maybe it's time for someone brand new?

out of the blue

this whole thing with dj guy is getting a lil crazy...

so on thursday out of the blue i toyed with the idea of actually telling him how i felt.

now i have no idea why i suddenly thought of this. and i didn't even know what i wanted to say. i mean i'm definitely attracted and perhaps on some level i wanna get to know him better. yet at the same time i know that there isn't really any future there. so why would i even suddenly even think of saying anything? is it 'coz somehow it's easier to tell someone you like 'em after you've had a few drinks and made out with 'em. must be one of 'em weird random thoughts.

thank goodness i decided to talk it through with my good friend who then convinced me otherwise. nothing like having a friend remind you that it's a just-for-the-booty thing and yet supportive enough to acknowledge that sometimes it is better to just tell so then you'll know.

come friday it was the usual... my party girl, the yummy mommy and me in cozy hole-in-the-wall bar. except that the girls were feeling especially tired out and went home before midnight. i was determined to stay out and enjoy myself so i stayed on.

the bar was especially quiet and the bartender aka dj guy and i even managed to actually have some sort of conversation. i also had a bit of a chat with a few other people, one of whom is a regular.

that conversation was rather funny... out of the blue he mentioned the guy from the wedding and how back then at the wedding he kept on asking me why was i even bothering with the guy from the wedding. apparently he said that there were so many other guys who liked me and i could do better. he then made it a point to point out that dj guy was one of 'em. what was funny (and slightly appalling) was that i don't quite remember ever having such a conversation with him. turns out that that random kissing with the guy from the wedding seemed to have caused a fair bit of 'commotion'.

for the very first time i stayed till the bar closed. dj guy asked me to. and besides it was a quiet night so he closed up early. after everyone else had left, he backed me up against the bar and we made out. as usual it was hot. there were the sweeter moments and then the more intense ones. i like that so far he's been rather respectful and is careful to stay within my boundaries. i still have no idea what's going on. he actually said he loves me but i brushed that away with a pinch of salt. i know working in the night life is really tough but it's not like he's really trying to actually ask me out. this just might be one of 'em weird happenings... but i can't deny that a part of me misses him and really wants to know him better...

****

today was another slightly earlier start to the day as i made plans to meet chatty triathlete and his triathlete teammates for lunch. i'm beginning to feel a bit more comfy with 'em and even chatted rather easily with some of 'em. they are a pretty friendly bunch as they remembered me from the last meeting last week. i'm not sure when is their next social meeting or if i will even be invited but i do hope to get to know 'em better.

after lunch, chatty triathlete and i spent the rest of the day together. we do get along but it's pretty much platonic for me... i'll have to find a way to steer it in the friends direction without really losing him as a friend...

****

on another note, the guy based in missouri might be long distance, but we've been emailing and IMing pretty regularly... he's always such a pleasure to talk to... if only i could have that massive raw physical attraction to him...

it's all confusing... sometimes i just wanna stop this 'dating' entirely...

in full swing

sometimes i wonder what's wrong with me. occasionally i lament bout the single life but then other times it seems like i enjoy it... maybe too much...

on sunday i met up with the guy based in missouri. we didn't do a whole lot more besides have dinner and walk around while chatting. it was a good time per usual. but i also knew that things were a lil different. maybe 'coz he was leaving the next day. basically he has asked me to move to missouri. he said that if i wanted to find a job there, he could try and help me... and if not, he asked me to come and visit him when i was done with school at the end of the year and offered to help me with part of my airfare.

it's all a bit crazy... he admitted that he initially wanted to extend his trip to spend more time with me 'coz he missed me but then his female friend persuaded him not to 'coz she said that it would make me more confused. he also told me that he didn't expect to meet someone like me and that i swept him off his feet with my personality. and that he thinks i'm hot. though he never said anything bout us being anything more, he did joke that i should meet his friend and his gf and then he can tell his friend that he wants me to be his gf but i don't wanna.

so what do i feel bout all of this? he was concerned that i would freak out. i think everything is happening a lil too fast. i mean i can't believe that we've only known each other for bout 2 weeks and that in the last week we met up 3 times. that said, it could be the whole him going back to missouri thing that made things faster in that sense. i guess we're back to the same conclusion... that for now we're gonna be friends... the distance thing isn't really allowing me to think that much i think.

my best friend thinks i'm a lil crazy. she said that it seems like i've found my man... a pretty cool guy which i connect with has fallen at my feet. and then i freak.

but have i? have i found my man? maybe it's still too early to tell if i really like like him. perhaps if it wasn't long distance at least i would have had a longer time to hang out with him and maybe get used to the idea or something. then again in a way i'm almost glad that he's long distance so that at least it lets me stop to think for a while.

i just can't help wondering if this is my commitment phobia kicking in full swing.

****

yesterday i met up with chatty triathlete. it may seem like he's turning into a friend that i feel quite comfy talking to. but i'm not so sure if friendship is exactly what he has in mind. at least not from the light touches of my neck, hair and arm.

so far it's still rather platonic... he hasn't laid any cards on the table and i also hinted that i think multidating is acceptable when there is no commitment. but i do enjoy his company and he's quick becoming my "fitness trainer".

****

and yet all i can think of is wanting to make out with dj guy...

like a junkie needing a fix

and the crazy continues...

on thursday i met up with the guy based in missouri. we watched a movie and then had a snack before we each had to rush off for our own appointments. it was a pretty nice time. chances are that he's leaving to head back to missouri on monday so before we parted he asked when he could see me again and we made plans to meet on sunday.

****

i spent friday night the usual way... with my party girl and the yummy mommy at cozy hole-in-the-wall bar. there was this other guy (a good friend of the bartender aka dj guy) there who i've met several times before but hadn't seen in a while so we chatted a lil. i've always found him pretty attractive, but i also know his girlfriend and think she's really cool.

per usual somewhere along the way dj guy and i started getting huggier. lately it seems like we've been into a lil more pda than previously. and then there was this time when he took a sip from his drink and then kissed me to pass the drink from his mouth to mine. i thought that was pretty hot since if either one of us was less coordinated, it would have resulted in one of us having a wet shirt. speaking of shirts, he was wearing his 3/4 unbuttoned so i cheekily unbuttoned the rest of his shirt just for the fun of it. i must say his chest doesn't look too bad.

we did manage to have a lil chat as well though one of the things he mentioned was the first day we met and how he had liked me then. he also commented that his lips were sore for 2 days after our make out session last week. not that he was complaining. on the contrary he said that he liked that i was a lil aggressive in my kissing. i claim that i was just following his lead.

as usual there was some teasing from the regulars in the bar who saw us all huggy and a lil kissy. dj guy's good friend actually told me that dj guy really likes me. somehow i still find it hard to believe when he doesn't seem to make any effort to meet me outside the bar. when it was time for me to call it an early night, i made my rounds saying goodbye to all the regulars. and got a surprise peck on the lips from dj guy's good friend. his girlfriend was right there. thankfully she's pretty cool. but perhaps i might have to be a lil more watchful since i always got this feeling that he sorta likes me a lil even though he's totally in love with his girlfriend. when it was dj guy's turn to say goodbye to me, we kissed a lil. and then it was obvious it was going to start getting heavier. but we were right there in the front of everyone and both agreed that that wasn't the best idea.

soon after i left the bar... i hesitated for a moment... and then decided to throw caution to the wind and called dj guy.

jo: get outta there
dj guy: okay

he met me outside the bar and we made out for bout 10 mins. as usual it was hot. he said that he misses me and that he's happy to see me. he also admitted that he wanted me bad. and i'm just still unsure bout it all. but like a junkie who needs a fix, i have to admit that lately dj guy has been a drug i can't get enough of.

****

saturday was an earlier day for me 'coz i made plans to meet chatty triathlete to join him and his triathlete teammates for lunch. as previously mentioned, my friend's husband is in that team as well. my friend is based in dubai for work but it so happened that she was back in town for a few days and was at the lunch too. i knew bout this from chatty triathlete but decided to keep my impending presence at the lunch as a surprise for her. indeed she was surprised. and of 'coz gave me silent looks which meant to say that i definitely owed her an explanation on what was going on between me and chatty triathlete (who she only met for the first time).

it was good to catch up with my friend. and i also got to chat a lil with the other members of the team. it's a pretty big team and naturally i'm a lil lost, but they seem nice. hopefully i'll get a chance to meet up with 'em more often... maybe eventually even train with 'em though that still intimidates me a fair bit.

****

later on saturday night, i helped out in a friend's wedding. it was a really small affair so only me and another mutual friend was invited. but since she couldn't attend, i was alone at the wedding. thankfully i wound up chatting and getting along really well with my friend's brother.

here's the funny part. he's 21 years old. i can't believe it. what's with me and getting along with 21 year olds?? wasn't shy (now ex) colleague and the youngest one enough?

anyhow i appreciated the company of my friend's brother and he asked for my IM address so maybe we might keep in touch. then again it's still funny and maybe a lil weird?

multidating

lately it's just been a lil crazy with all the guys... i've been doing just what i said i would a few weeks back, which is to multidate. and so far it's been 4 guys in the span of one week. i've officially hit a new high.

yesterday i met up with a new guy who i got to know through the original online dating site. he's based in missouri but is back home for a vacation. what was initially supposed to be meeting up over coffee turned into a dinner and then turned into dessert which then turned into more chatting time. we spent 9 hours together. on our first meeting. the only time that was ever matched on a first meeting was when i went to the museum with my family friend's setup. and even then, that can't quite compare 'coz i had group meetings with my family friend's setup before whereas it was the very first face to face meeting with the guy based in missouri.

he's better looking than i expected and we got along just as well as i had suspected. he's pretty nice and kinda goofy with a good sense of humour and yet someone who is capable of talking bout more serious topics. he also commented that i was attractive, eloquent, intelligient and competitive enough to strategically beat him in a game he just taught me. chances are he's leaving to head back to missouri next monday but he's already asked if we could meet up again before he leaves. i'm not sure bout the whole long distance thing but i definitely wanna at least stay friends with him 'coz it seems like we do get along.

so after i came back home, i received a few texts from chatty triathlete asking if he could call me for a lil chat. and so we chatted. he seems like a nice and sweet guy even if he also seems like he's capable of emotional attachment a lil too quickly. he talked bout wanting to introduce me to the team of athletes that he belongs to. i reckon i'm okay with it. afterall it's always good to have more friends. though it's also a lil intimidating 'coz they are all so athletic. i'm no couch potato, but compared to 'em, i just might as well be one.

at this moment, i'm kinda just out there having fun. and honestly so far it's been pretty nice.

and i'm back in the game

i've been ridiculously good since my birthday celebrations over a month ago. can you believe i didn't even drink much and didn't party at all. so on friday i was determined to get my party on with my party girl and the yummy mommy.

we arrived at cozy hole-in-the-wall bar to find the bartender aka dj guy and a girl engaged in some cozy chit chatting. she also seemed to be all huggy with him. i would have been lying if i said that i wasn't slightly 'jealous'. but i decided to concentrate on drinking instead.

somewhere along the way the girl left and i was a lil tipsy and somehow dj guy and i wound up kissing. at one point he was backed up against the wall and we were making out in full view of everyone in the bar. i think at that point my party girl and the yummy mommy decided to head to another club while i was too busy being distracted.

then i chatted with some other regulars in the bar where a few of 'em actually told me that they were glad to see dj guy and i 'getting it on' 'coz apparently there's a lot of tension between us.

and indeed there always has been... and lately it seems like there's been an unleashing of that...

before i left, dj guy backed me against the wall outside the bar and we made out for at least 20 mins. it was raw, primal and animalistic. entirely too hot. the kind of kissing chemistry we have is just crazy. we have similar slightly rough on the edges kissing styles and we feed off each other. it's like neither one of us really wants to stop. if we were really alone i think that would be too dangerous. as it is, he already commented on all the tension we had and how he was getting erm... a hard on... i believe i told him to shut up and kiss me haha! yeah i'm not sure if i wanna take it to that level... i just really enjoy whatever we have going on right now.

****

so this week i joined a new online dating site right? well on saturday i met up with chatty triathlete. in fact i messaged him 'coz he was a triathlete and i have an interest in that and all things sporty. turns out that he's in a team that a friend's husband is in as well. it's a small world.

i wasn't all that attracted to him physically but he was pretty nice. maybe a lil too chatty. is that even possible? he talks even more than i do. and had no qualms in telling me his entire life story. i have a feeling he might be starting to be into me or something. he's texted and emailed a few times in the last 24 hours. at the moment i'm just wanting to keep my options open.