waiting for the other shoe to drop

i was everywhere on friday night. trying to juggle all my different friends who somehow all wanted to party on one same night.

i met up with my party girl and her guy friend (who i also know) for dinner. and then i made a short detour to meet up with not-so-platonic ex-friend who was out having drinks and asked me to come join him.

so not-so-platonic ex-friend and i have recently become friends again. and for some reason, a part of me keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. i didn't know that he was having drinks with his colleagues. so it was a lil strange to have him hit on me in front of 'em. he was all huggy veggy and trying to be kissy with me. he even told his colleagues that i was going to be his new wife. it made things more complicated when it was obvious that one of his colleagues (a cute guy a year younger than me) was totally trying to flirt with me. so there i was, suddenly at the receiving end of attention from 2 guys.

and it felt weird.

normally it probably would have been almost an ego boost. but given the complicated situation, all this just felt strange.

after bout an hour of such weirdness, i left to join my party girl and the yummy mommy at cozy hole-in-the-wall bar. it was a nice chillout time per usual. which was good to stop my mind from racing and thinking bout what just happened.

the bartender aka dj guy and i had a brief lil chat. nothing too exciting. we didn't kiss. not even a simple peck on the lips. it would have been interesting if we did. then at least i could say that i pecked 2 guys in one night.

later i went to join some ex-colleagues in another club. it was good to dance it out. it's just been so long since i've danced. too many of my going-out nights have been spent chilling out at cozy hole-in-the-wall bar. don't get me wrong... i totally love it there. i just feel absolutely comfy there and of 'coz there's always dj guy to get me distracted. but sometimes it's nice to be in another club listening to a live band and dancing it out.

after all the excitement, i still managed to go back home early like i planned.

i awoke briefly at 6.48am to my phone beeping a message...

not-so-platonic ex-friend: it's amazing how your fragrance stays on my hands so long. love the way you smell.

things are just so complicated. i have no idea what i'm doing or what is happening. it's all so wrong. and through it all, i'm just afraid of things going sour and losing his friendship entirely.

it still feels like i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop...