Thursday, March 16, 2006

why i'm still single

every now and then, every single woman starts to question her eligibility and wonder why she's single in the first place.

today was one of those days for me.

as the kasey chambers song goes "am i not pretty enough? is my heart too broken? do i cry too much? am i too outspoken?" all those thoughts have crossed my mind before... though probably not the crying too much one since i'm not like that. but the point is that i wonder if there's something wrong with me that perhaps everyone sees but me.

i don't think i'm any less attractive than everyone else. and no less nice and friendly either. in fact if i'm in one of my confident, rooting for myself days, i would think that i'm a pretty darn good catch.

so why am i still single?

so far from all my previous over analyzing, i've come up with a few possibilities...

maybe i'm partially commitment phobic. i can't commitment unless i feel like there's a chance that it's gonna go somewhere. then again maybe it's just that i haven't met the right guy.

perhaps it's a lack of opportunity. sure i hang out with friends and all but it's usually all girls or just platonic guy friends. other than the weekly partying, i hardly get to meet new guys. and we all know that club guys don't really last...

might even be 'coz i'm a girl with standards. they aren't those unreachable standards, but they're standards no less. and why shouldn't i? i'm not looking for someone perfect. i'm just looking for someone perfect for me.

but while having a conversation with my colleagues (and it wasn't even a topic bout being single), i chanced upon another possible reason. i hadn't really thought bout it before though from time to time it did pop into my mind...

the reason is this... my dad has set the bar high.

yes, my dad is really great. my parents have been happily married for 28 years and my dad treats my mom realy well. i think that maybe i'm used to such a loving family environment that anything less than that would be almost strange for me.

so i guess i just need to find someone kinda like my dad...



At 4:51 AM, Blogger Texas Cinderella said...

My dad has set the bar too. All my friends tell me I'm too picky, but I've seen what true love and commitment is and I won't settle for anything less! We deserve that!

At 10:31 PM, Blogger Larissa said...

yeah my folks have a great relationship that i hope to have some day. also i think i'm a commitment-phobe too. i don't date just for the sake of dating, i have to think it's going somewhere.

At 10:55 AM, Blogger NotCarrie said...

Hmmm, I think I'm the same way. I've never wanted to go through the crap if it wasn't going to be something more. And now I'm finally ready to go through the dating crap but I'm having problems at the 'meeting people' level. Ha! I can't win!

At 3:59 AM, Anonymous franc said...

The "dad barrier" makes sense to me: a lot of my friends (girls) suffers from it (and I include my girlfriend in the list). And most of them are now starting great relationships with no problems. I think the key points here are the time and the "I want nothing" theory.
Time to find (I believe mostly by pure chance) the right person who fulfills all the "Blue Prince Quality Control Specifications". And I'm not talking about the "Love Topic"; I'm talking about "Specifications" that in most cases we can not transform into concepts or words: they are just "things" that make us happy when we are with the other person. On the other hand the "I want nothing" theory is well known: when you don't look for something, you find it.
But, of course, this is only the point of view and opinion from someone "on the other side of the war".


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