Tuesday, April 03, 2007

walking that fine line

as my best friend prepares to fly interstate just to keep her guy friend company, it's been truly thought provoking for me.

this guy friend in question is the guy that my best friend likes. he was the reason that she got so depressed that she had to fly all the way back home. and since then i've learnt that her trip helping him move was anything but platonic. and yes, he had a girlfriend. he may still have a girlfriend. but that isn't stopping her from flying to see him again. all in the name of closure. but i can't help but feel it's just opening up a larger can of worms.

but i'm her best friend. i have to be supportive right? even though i still think it's a huge mistake. and that he's going to use her and hurt her 'coz that's just what he's like. she's never been able to handle casual sex/relationships. and it will be even harder for her to get over this.

i know it's her life and she can choose to lead it however she wants. but 'coz she's my best friend, it hurts me to know that she's setting herself up for even more hurt and pain. it's such a fine line to walk. being supportive, encouraging and non judgemental and yet trying to give advice and put my point across gently. and sometimes it's hard 'coz half the time i wanna fly over to where she is and shake some sense into her. but i can't exactly tell her the truth. how much i dislike him for the way he's been using her. how stupid i think she has been for allowing herself to be treated this way and continuing to go back for more. and perhaps 'coz i have no outlet which is why i'm writing here.

all the same hearing her prepare in eager anticipation of some action makes me realise that sometimes vicarious living may not be enough for me...

gotta find me some action haha!



At 12:29 AM, Blogger Crashdummie said...

sometimes being the best friend means that you have to tell her the truth no one dares telling her, playing the devils advocate and make her search her soul and find the answers she's afraid to find...

Good luck finding action Jo or you'll turn out to be like me - full of freudian slips!!!


At 5:22 AM, Blogger Princess Extraordinaire said...

It's hard to watch someone you care about do saometing you know to be self destructive - but like you said you need to walk the fine line of being a friend and setting her straight. I am sure your friend knows on a certain level that what she is doing isn't right - she just can't help herself right now..

At 1:08 AM, Blogger Heart Of Darkness said...

Women go completely postal when it comes to men - shit we would never put up with coming from our girlfriends pass unnoticed when it comes flying from a guy we're currently into.

Get you completely. I get so f*ckning annoyed with other women too. It passes, though. I realize it's their lives, and they get to chase head over heels after a guy if they want to. Nothing for me to meddle into.
I just pop a huge bowl of popcorn and sit at the sideline, watching the trainwreck that's bound to happen - and trust me, it will f*ck itself up sooner or later.

Don't give yourself a headache over this. Go snog the younger one, of the Australian one, or a New one, and put Jo first! ;) You've got my permission and wholehearted support, girl! ;D

At 9:29 PM, Blogger speedwobble said...

I have one friend who has a habit of asking questions that make me really THINK about what I am doing. Things like "After the hormones wear off, what will you like about this guy?", or "Okay, you've told me he's a jerk, but you're keeping him around. What need in your life is he filling right now?" Sometimes I use that trick on friends who are doing something they obviously haven't thought through...


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