Sunday, May 27, 2007

honesty... the best policy?

for too long i've been holding what i felt back until the guy lays the cards out or that too much time has already passed. but lately i seemed to have embarked on a journey to be more honest especially when it comes to guys.

friday night i was at cozy hole-in-the-wall bar with my party girl. the bartender aka dj guy was looking good in a white polo tee which was a deviation from the usal black that he wears. for the longest while now i've been wondering what it would be like to kiss him and that night i decided to just tell him.

the intention was to say it face to face but then i wussed out so i texted him later instead...

jo: i don't quite dare to tell you face to face but think i should be honest anyhow and admit that i've always wondered what it would be like to kiss you... oh well... :p
dj guy: hmm... that's weird... why would you wanna kiss me?
jo: hmm... why not?
dj guy: i wanna know why. there's a lot of guys here why would you choose me? i'm curious
jo: the other guys don't capture my attention. you intrigue me.
dj guy: ooo... interesting. but why you choose me
jo: you fishing for compliments here? haha! i guess it's just a feeling... how do i even explain? but hey it's okay if you don't feel the same. i'm just trying to be more honest than i usually ever am haha!
dj guy: that's good... i'm sorry but just asking you that by confession and are you drunk
jo: haha! i'm not drunk... though admittedly if i were utterly sober i would probbaly be too chicken to say anything haha!
dj guy: well... jo, i respect you as a friend and a customer. i have to confess to you as well cause i don't wanna hurt anyone especially a girl i love so much. sorry no hard feelings alright babe
jo: no worries... i think maybe i'm actually liking this honesty thing haha!
dj guy: ok jo... you better be off to bed alrite. i'm with my gf who's gonna be my wife next year before she thinks negatively bout you. alrite good morning and rest well babe
jo: and i wish you guys all the best! night!
dj guy: thanks babe good night

i'm glad that went relatively well. though i probably wouldn't have said anything if i knew he was back with his girlfriend. a few weeks back he told me that they had broken up. and now they are bout to get married? and i guess he could have also just told me straight up that he had a girlfriend / wife-to-be and not question why i chose him. that said, it was just a kiss that i was curious bout... it was never bout anything more.

but the honesty felt freeing. i'm so glad that i got that outta my system and now i can move on.

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At 7:11 PM, Blogger Crashdummie said...

Well laying all the cards on the table is scaring, but also strangely relieving. I like this honesty thing Jo – life is full of woulda coulda shoulda, but people tend to play games which leaves them hollow. Don’t do that, cuz regret is something you can’t live with.

Good luck with your pursue of happiness – you totally deserve it hun!

At 11:50 PM, Blogger Princess Pointful said...

Just came across your blog and enjoying what I've read so far!
I think he sounds like a bit of a sleeze for dragging it out longer than necessary, likely for an ego boost.
But kudos to you for your honesty and for taking it so well!

At 10:46 AM, Blogger psychgrad said...

Totally sounded like he wanted you to stroke his ego. Good job on the partially-sober honesty. I would need to be fully intoxicated to pull that one off.


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