disappointed, maybe deceived & drummers

the ad-man left yesterday night for a month long trip back to canada and i thought i wanted to be nice and say goodbye before he left or something. so when i saw him online on sunday night, i sent him a message. he ignored me AGAIN. what the heck? but he's definitely online 'coz he's having activity on the online social utility site.

and then i "stalked" his page and saw some wall messages from his girlfriend. oh my gosh please... the girl can't even construct a freaking sentence properly... and it's a wall message that we're talking bout, not an essay. and she sounds soo childish with all the "hohoho" and "ckckckck" (which btw what the heck does that mean??) and i don't know what else. the more i see it, the more i'm thinking are you kidding me?? this is who i lose out to?

okay so maybe i'm being bitchy here. maybe she's a really nice person. but actually i'm not pissed at her. i'm not even pissed that he decided that she was better than me. i'm pissed that he doesn't even seem to want to keep a friendship with me. i mean what's up with that? i thought we were actually pretty good friends. we talked so much. and then suddenly he's ignoring me and all that? i have half the mind to send him an email telling him off (nicely... 'coz i'm nice), but at the same time i wonder if i should even bother and even think to let him know that i'm affected by this whole ignoring me business.

but of 'coz i'm affected... i mean if we had a random tipsy makeout session and he decided that he wanted to ignore me, i am totally equipped to handle that. but to talk to me so much for a few months and then turn around to suddenly ignore me? that i have no idea how to handle. but i guess i just have to learn to handle this. the price you pay for opening up your heart to someone and entrusting 'em with your emotions. the costly price of having the door slammed in the face of your heart.

i'm disappointed 'coz i thought he was better than this. i thought i could open up my heart to him and entrust him with my emotions... and i did. but now i realised that he might be just as big a jerk as some other guys i've met.

i think in some warped way, maybe i'm glad that it all happened this way. so that i could see him for who he really is. so that i can once and for all know what's happening. so that i can truly move on.

****

but of 'coz i couldn't truly move on until i gave him one last final chance. i meant it. one last final chance. i texted him yesterday night before he left...

jo: hey just wanted to say have a safe flight n a good trip back to e home side...

i nearly expected him to ignore that as well. i mean it wouldn't be a surprise to me and possibly make things easier for me to just write him off. but he (shockingly) replied...

the ad-man: hey jo long time no chat... thanks for the send off wishes... i hope you revelation comes to be or becomes clearer when i see you next. take care jo

i thought if he were to reply, it would be a cursory one so i was surprised at the friendly nature of the text. the whole revelation thing was taken from my status on the online social utility site. i didn't even know he saw that. "long time no chat"? duh and whose fault is that? and "when i see you next"?? what is that even supposed to mean?

but of 'coz i replied anyway... and i couldn't resist taking a lil dig at him...

jo: yeah its been ages since we last chatted. ure a difficult person to find online... i wld have thought u were ignoring me haha! u take care too!

i wondered how he would respond to that...

the ad-man: haha yeah saw your IM msg a couple of times... sorry was no there to reply... and i didn't follow up. oppss my bad haha kay going off take care

well okay. i guess i accept his apology or whatever. i think it might be a bit bullshit but i accept that. and we'll see if we can actually maintain a friendship...

****

yesterday night i was online chatting with drummer boy when he suddenly asked me out for an impromptu meet up. he volunteered to drive over to my place to pick me up even though i live practically on the other end of town from him.

i decided to just roll with it, afterall it's not always easy to meet up with a guy who doesn't seem to like to plan too far ahead. and i admit i was curious.

so he picked me up and we headed to a bar/cafe nearby where we had a beer and fries and just chatted. it was fun. it's definitely easy to talk to him. i don't think i can confide in him or whatever but he's nice to just talk "nonsense" with.

he proved to be slightly surprising when i found out that this hardcore rock drummer boy is also kinda shy and not into one night stands and girlie bars. i found myself thinking that that was cute.

after he sent me back, we were texting each other for over an hour.