Sunday, September 21, 2008

an email to drummer boy

in this day and age of technology, i can't believe that i left out one very important medium. thanks to scotty for suggesting that i should write drummer boy an email... it honestly never crossed my mind before...

so i drafted the email, saved it and then let it sit in my email for a few days. and then showed it to my best friend for her comments, made some amendments, saved it and then let it sit in my email for a few more days.

you have no idea how much i debated over sending it. so much. especially in light of our absolute non contact for the last 3 days. it was tempting to just try and continue to pretend that i was unaffected.

i tried to center myself. to figure out what i really thought was the best thing to do. i guess somewhere deep inside i knew that i just had to. after everything that has happened to us, i needed to just give it one last shot. if nothing else, it would provide some kind of closure (even if in the end he never explained anything at all) knowing that i gave it all i could and if it didn't work out then it just wasn't meant to be.

i finally found my guts... and hit send.


from: jo
to: drummer boy
subject: prelude to a chat...

hey *insert drummer boy's name*,

yeah it's probably kinda strange to get an email from me... but we all know that i'm just not very good at talking in general even when i think some form of talking probably needs to be done. i figured an email would be the best way for me to collect my thoughts and pen 'em down... and since i didn't know which email addy you checked so i'm sending it to both.

so yes, i know i just said a whole lotta thing bout nothing much... but bear with me here... this is harder than you realise...

i think that in the past month or so my mind has kinda been everywhere. like i told you before, i started getting a funny feeling from you... like something was wrong. i felt like we weren't communicating as well as we used to. it just felt different and i was vibing off you. i started feeling disconnected or whatever and that started to bother and affect me. i felt you pulling away / backing off and i'm not really sure what happened. and 'coz i do still like you, i'm hoping that you will be able to provide me with some clarity and understanding. as in what do you feel or think or like what's going on with all this? i'm just kinda confused. i don't doubt that you might be confused as well and perhaps that is my fault...

it would be great if we could have a chat face to face or something... if you want to, do let me know when would be a good time for you. maybe then we both can have a better understanding of what the other person is thinking or whatever.

cheers,
jo


it's been over 7 hours and still nothing. then again i'm not sure if he checked his email yet. but then again i think he has one of 'em phones that sync to his email. but again then again i'm giving him time to digest it and hopefully respond. if he doesn't respond at all then i really know my score. and he strikes out.

so let's wait and see what happens... *crosses fingers*

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6 Comments:

At 11:20 PM, Blogger Scotty said...

:)

The very least you will get out of this, is clarity. Knowing where he stands, which definitely worth more as it will tell you whether he's worth having you.

 
At 12:00 AM, Blogger SaneAndSingle said...

Good for you! I have my fingers crossed for you! :)

 
At 12:12 AM, Blogger Jade said...

Cheers to you!

Better to have tried then not.

I'm crossing my fingers for you too!

 
At 4:05 AM, OpenID nevergoingbackagain said...

im proud of you and support you 100% with your e-mail. in that situation i would have done something of the sorts...and at least you have peace knowing you tried. and like you said, if he doesnt reply...then that's your answer, and his loss. good luck.

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger jo said...

thanks everyone. i don't feel brave... i feel like a nervous wreck. and it's even worst when i have to wait for his response... or maybe non-response? 'coz he STILL hasn't responded and i'm positive that he's seen the email by now...

 
At 10:06 PM, Blogger Scotty said...

Well, at the very least, you know where you two stand.

 

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