in the last 2 days

it's been 2 days. 2 full days. i've been resisting contacting him and if he's been doing the same, then we're both doing a really good job.

friday night i met up with a few ex-colleagues, one of whom is a friend of mine (we were actually friends before we became then colleagues). dinner and then hanging out in my friend's boyfriend's (who is also an ex-colleague 'coz they met in the workplace) house watching old episodes of how i met your mother was definitely fun. but at the back of my mind i couldn't help thinking.

how i met your mother isn't exactly a sitcom that allows you not to think bout finding the one. the series is all bout suddenly feeling like you gotta get a move on if you hope to find true love. and it's also bout all the wrong ones you chance upon along the way.

so my friend is seated next to me on the long couch cuddling her boyfriend. they aren't really the pda type but it was sweet. her boyfriend is sweet. he treats her really well. the kind of well every girl hopes for. he had expressed interest in her for over a year before she finally agreed to be with him.

i think people have different theories on this whole guy chases girl for the longest time thing. i've heard some people say that that means the guy has put the girl up on a pedastal and could just be in for the chase and when he finally gets her, he changes. and then there are others who say that the guy must really truly like the girl enough to wait that long for her. i don't know. my friend's boyfriend still treats her really well even after he's gotten her.

i couldn't help but wonder why couldn't i have that. to have someone who treats me really well and truly likes me that much to chase me for that long. so far all i've gotten in life were guys who never really bothered too much bout the chase (if they even bothered at all to begin with) and who never really treated me all that well either.

i went out with my mom over the weekend and she asked bout drummer boy. i put on a brave front for her. acted like i was perfectly okay and blase bout the entire situation. i tend to do that a lot in general with people. 'coz i don't have the time to fall apart. but as i was talking to her, i was once again reminded bout how sometimes i really feel unlucky. and this all just sucks. i started to feel myself getting too emotional and had to change the subject.

for 2 full days i have been thinking bout him and wondering if he would contact me. every time my phone beeped, my heart jumped a lil, hoping that it would be him. and then it sank 'coz it wasn't. suffice to say, i'm kinda a mess... and a sad one at that.

yes i probably need to talk to him or something. as the nike slogan says... just do it. but i'm still struggling like crazy over it. and wondering if maybe i'm just too stupid to not have read the writing on the wall a month ago and moved on... and yet i know that i'm not quite ready as yet to really start dating again... exciting relationship or otherwise, it looks like once again i lost and i'm coming out with my heart broken.