anyway who knows if this is even any better

so i've met up with the swedish guy for quite a fair number of times. and i'm not even sure how we arrange our meeting ups. whether it's him suggesting or me or just some mutual agreement to do something on a certain day.

but this time, i was definitely the one to ask him. funny how nerve wrecking that was, how much thought i actually put into it. that's what liking someone does to me... it makes me a nervous wreck.

we did have a pretty nice time meeting up last night. just dinner and dessert. very casual. but i'm also starting to get worried bout me liking him. he's someone who loves to travel. and his job does require him to travel a fair bit. in all likelihood, he's away for possibly 1-2 weekends in a month. and all the other days of the week he's busy with salsa dancing, gym, friends and sports. it makes me wonder that when he said that he feels he's ready for a serious relationship, how on earth was he intending to fit that in?

when i like someone and it's all in limbo like it usually is, i kinda go back and forth. a part of me thinks that i should stop trying to find other options and spend some time nurturing it. another part of me thinks that i should start trying to find other options in hopes of not getting too emotionally invovled.

admittedly i had somewhat stopped trying to find other options after i realised that i liked the swedish guy. but somehow after last night, i suddenly felt like it was scary to like him when i don't know how he feels and when he's just such a busy person.

i wound up replying to an email that a guy from the online dating site sent bout 2 weeks ago. i'm quite sure that i don't know what i'm even trying to do other than attempt to protect my heart.

and again i say... i hate this part.