the past, the future and everything in between

i know that i haven't been updating too much lately. i guess when you're in a relationship, it's kinda hard to find good blog fodder. afterall it's not like i'm out there having many different dates with many different guys having many different interesting stories.

so far everything is going relatively fine... i suppose. i don't know. i mean i do like him a lot or maybe "love" him or whatever but there are other things that make me wonder if i can be with him forever (and i know that he pretty much thinks forever). we're just quite different personalities and the side of him that is totally opposite to my tolerant, easy-going, even-tempered side does sometimes make me worry. but other than that and some other lil things that bug me (which i have yet to even find a way to tell him bout), we're doing more or less good.

though that doesn't mean that i stop thinking bout the past boys.

every now and then i find myself thinking bout the swedish guy. maybe 'coz he was the guy just before the alpha boy. maybe 'coz if he had shown me more interest then, my life would have taken a different path. maybe 'coz i still have no idea what happened and wonder why.

and then there's dj guy. my party girl and i finally met up on friday. it's been bout a month since we last met 'coz she's been really busy at work. we decided to head over to the club that dj guy now works in. yeah after over 6 months of not working in nightlife, dj guy is finally back. which makes it easier to see him again.

it was definitely nice seeing him again. evidently for him as well 'coz he left me a message on the online social utility site saying just that. which is something he never did. we've never been the contact each other types. heck, he never did anything like that even when we were kinda "together" (which by that i really just mean making out every week at his former workplace in cozy hole-in-the-wall bar). but we've long since passed that. it was just the kind of friendly we are. joking and jesting. we will both move on with our own lifes and loves. but there will always be something there between us. that certain soft spot for the other. (that seems evident to others as well) that will always be there. always.